Tag: Funny

America’s largest cities in 1790

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

Working on a big history project, both my own and in some discussions with a good friend who’s immersed in writing a book that’s all his, has had me reflecting on the growth of America. Just where was the economic and political power centered? The findings can be rather surprising.

  1. New York City (33,131 population). That’s all? It’s about the size of Dover, New Hampshire, or Bangor, Maine. Places we’d call small cities or towns.
  2. Philadelphia (28,522). As you’ll see, that’s a bit misleading, but still small by today’s standards.
  3. Boston (18,320). Well, it was also surrounded by some thriving towns, especially along the Charles River and around the harbor.
  4. Charleston, S.C. (16,359). So this was the belle of the South and diversely sophisticated, too?
  5. Baltimore (13,503). Less than half the size of Philadelphia.
  6. Northern Liberties Township, Pa. (9,913). Of course, had these suburbs been included with Philadelphia, the influence of the City of Brotherly Love would be more apparent.
  7. Salem, Mass. (7,921). Here’s where the New England picture changes and winds up taking up half of the Top Ten list.
  8. Newport, R.I. (6,716). Harbors were key factors for cities.
  9. Providence, R.I. (6,380). As I was saying?
  10. Marblehead, Mass. (5,661). One of three Bay State cities named for a single governor, as the saying goes. Peabody and Athol rounded out the honor.

Fact: Only two cities have ever held the distinction of most populous in the United States. When the Declaration of Independence was signed, it was Philadelphia. But by the time of the first Census, 1790, New York had taken the top spot, a rank it’s held ever since.

Signs that the Summer People are about to descend

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment
  1. First boat on a trailer bouncing down the street. Usually soon followed by another.
  2. Lights on in a seasonal second-home.
  3. Double the number of cars at the IGA from what’s been normal.
  4. Rain rather than snow.
  5. More than one vehicle parked overnight at the motel. And then international flags flying from its deck.
  6. Out-of-state licenses plates from other than a random New Hampshire or Massachusetts or Virginia vehicle. Beginning with Iowa, Wisconsin, Tennessee, but soon followed by Oregon, California, Texas, New York, New Jersey, Ohio. Somehow, Florida doesn’t flood in initially.
  7. A change in the quality of daylight, from bright crisp to buttery.
  8. The first Mercedes in town since October. Or BMW, Audi, or Volvo.
  9. Green grass and dandelions.
  10. Somebody actually moving within one of the seasonally closed stores or galleries downtown.

Random notes keep springing up in no particular order

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

Here are a few more.

  1. Attempting to bridge many unanticipated combinations.
  2. Classical music is a connection to history of social thought and imagination.
  3. In the face of Covid-19, are we facing the death of dining out? And face-to-face shopping?
  4. You treated fame the way you treated me, which may explain everything.
  5. I didn’t really want to be a swami. Now, now I see, I wanted to be a rabbi!
  6. The misapplication of “culture” to be norm rather than higher learning and other downfalls, as in “classic rock”
  7. Cool beans, eazy-peezy.
  8. Chickens in the garden.
  9. What we transplanted last week looks happy, and the rats are gone.
  10. Practice & Devotion. In either order.

~*~

See how my mind and heart work? Really?

Pantry items I consider staples

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 1 Comment

No, not the usual listing of milk, bread, eggs, butter, potatoes – those are givens. Rather, the things special to me you’re not likely to pick up if you’re doing my grocery run.

  1. Olives. Big green stuffed ones, though I love ripe ones as well, elsewhere.
  2. Gin. Where did you think those green olives were going?
  3. Bagels. Or breakfast pastry.
  4. Craisins. They go well in yogurt or on a salad.
  5. Sunflower seeds. On that salad, too.
  6. Cookies and pretzels. Something to snack on.
  7. Garlic. Rather than onion.
  8. Lemons. And limes, for someone special.
  9. Orange juice, or grapefruit. Perk me up in the morning.
  10. Not as frequently but all the same: miso, sesame oil, rice vinegar, almonds.

What’s on your hidden list of essentials?

 

It’s mostly a downward slope, right?

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 4 Comments

Ten things I don’t like about growing older:

  1. Fragile skin and easy bruising.
  2. Moles and stray hairs.
  3. Balding and graying.
  4. Forgetfulness.
  5. Sexual withering and incontinence.
  6. Slowing down in general.
  7. Inability to sleep in late. Worse yet, apparently I snore more … and louder.
  8. A receding gum line.
  9. Declining stamina.
  10. Lessened agility and equipoise, too. As for balance?

~*~

What’s hitting you? No matter your age.

 

What you can do with a banana

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

They do come in bunches. Here are some fine uses.

  1. Make a sinful split for dessert.
  2. Or banana bread.
  3. Or a smoothie.
  4. Daiquiris!
  5. Or, with the peel, become a pratfall comedian. (Are they really that slick?)
  6. You can also soak the peel in water to use as indoor plant food.
  7. Or rub it over bug bites, poison ivy, or rashes to relieve itching and promote healing.
  8. Or use the peel to polish leather and silver.
  9. Now, back to the full fruit, we won’t go into what can happen in private.
  10. My favorite? Feed ’em to a bunny! Which gives us more peels.

Get used to driving to Bangor if you wanna live here

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

Bangor, a 2½-hour drive from Eastport, is our closest metropolis this side of Canada. And getting there or back can be a bear in winter. Oh, yes, you need to keep your eye out so you don’t hit a bear. There’s even a lodge along the way that touts the services of a bear-hunt guide.

The city itself is about the size of Dover, New Hampshire – roughly 30,000 population, but unless we cross the border to St. John, New Brunswick, it still has the closest:

  1. Interstate highway.
  2. Major hospital and specialists.
  3. Airline flights.
  4. Mall and many big-name, big-box stores.
  5. Daily newspaper.
  6. Array of ethnic restaurants.
  7. Cineplex.
  8. Synagogue.
  9. Greek Orthodox church.
  10. Toyota dealer.

Smaller Ellsworth, gateway to Acadia National Park, is about the same distance to the south. It also offers some respite as a civilized alternative.

 

In case you’re considering a pet rabbit

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 6 Comments

You’ve been seeing our duo, Salty and Pepper. Before that were Boo, especially, and Widgeon.

Now, for some details on the species.

  1. Officially, they’re lagomorphs, though we find their chewing habits resemble rodents – you know, beavers, when it comes to wood. You’ve been warned.
  2. Existing as an animal of prey, meaning a food source, makes them skittish. Boo, though, came to be a lap rabbit, sitting for hours in her someone special’s lap.
  3. In short spurts, they can zip along at up to 45 miles an hour. As ours do when they’re first out of their cage in the morning.
  4. In general, they’re silent. They don’t bark or meow or anything like that, though Salty has a whiffling snore while dozing. You’d think she’s in pain, but she’s not.
  5. They’re meticulously clean and can be potty trained, like a cat.
  6. Their ability to jump straight up, from all four legs, and twist and spin about in the air is called binky.
  7. Born covered in fur, they can run from the start.
  8. Their teeth and nails never stop growing.
  9. They cannot vomit, which requires us to be careful in what we feed them. Even when they seem to eat almost everything we offer them. That, by the way, has been an incentive for more attentive weeding on my part. Those weeds suddenly become bunny treats, and watching those greens be so assiduously devoured is quite amusing.
  10. They’re cute and soft, mostly.

 

Ten great loves in my life

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

What, you were expecting sexy lovers? That’s a whole different story, maybe best left for my fiction.

  1. Symphonic music. Well, quickly extending to chamber music and opera and then even jazz.
  2. Quaker practice and culture.
  3. The great outdoors. Wilderness, especially.
  4. The Cascades range as I explored it, most of all.
  5. Seafood, fresh asparagus, real tomatoes.
  6. The sea. Surf. Lighthouses.
  7. Holy wonder. The natural high, if you will.
  8. Autumn foliage.
  9. The soul mate who turned out to be false. She still haunts me, all the same. I think it was all the shared aspirations that really got me.
  10. The color blue.

~*~

What do you really love? Make that who, if you desire.