No question, my Indiana years were special

As I’ve been seeing in this sweep through my journals, not all of my experiences in Bloomington wound up in my poetry and fiction.

Back when I switched my college major from journalism to “something that would expand my mind,” as one influential editor advised me, I chose political science because so much news coverage focuses on government and its impact. Somehow, I fell under the spell of Vincent Ostrom, especially his federalist perspectives of a compound republic and ground-upward rather than top-down action. My earlier posts reflect how this turned into a personal relationship, even before I was invited to join what’s now known at IU as the Ostrom Workshop.

His wife Elinor, better known to us as Lynn, was just beginning to teach at IU when I was an undergrad and I didn’t find the opportunity to enroll in her courses. (The fact the department scheduled her classes at 7:30 am was an additional problem for night-owl me, as I was as the time.) Despite obstacles erected because of her gender, she soon became a popular teacher and by the time I returned to campus, was a rising star. What I saw on my return was how naturally she functioned as the central figure in running our collaborative workshop, and how utterly amazing she was all around. It should be no surprise that she became not only the first woman but also the first political scientist to win the Nobel Prize in economics. Yes, the dismal science.

While I have never run for political office or served in a governmental role — I’m of the camp that believes doing so would compromise the neutrality or objectivity at the heart of serious journalism — I have carried many of the lessons from that training through the remainder of my life.

One is the ability to critically read a text, period. It serves well in literature, theology, proposing a course of action, as well as editing. A corresponding step then asks which assumptions can be relaxed or even removed from the paper under examination.

Another lesson involves management and associative structures. Many similarities exist in operating public, for-profit, and non-profit organizations. They are what make a civilization function. They were especially helpful when I was navigating the steps in the management ladder of corporate journalism in my moves to come.

The next question regarding any field of organization, of course, is how do we make it work better?

~*~

In this review of the experience, I’m surprised to see a parallel in the youthful enthusiastic personnel at the Workshop to the idealistic newsroom staff in my novel Hometown News.  Most of the events shaping that book, be warned, come in the years ahead.

~*~

As I look back, I see how crucial this year-and-a-half became in my life.

My evolution from yogi to Quaker began, for one thing, though an overlap would continue for another year or two.

Through a circle headed by three very fine poets, my personal voice in that vein took shape, accompanied by appearances in literary reviews across the nation.

Kat and I settled into a life that was largely pleasurable and fulfilling. I’ll leave the details for you to decipher in my novel Nearly Canaan. The middle novella in The Secret Side of Jaya, “Miller at the spring,” was also inspired by this period but written 40-some years later and recast in the Ozarks.

There was a curious semester when Nicki and Kat were enrolled in the same weaving class in the art department. Did my ex-lover know my wife was a classmate? Eventually, they became acquainted and that led to a face-to-face of the three of us, allowing me some resolution to the past.

And I felt freer to move forward.

~*~

Vincent had grown up on a mink farm near Mount Baker in Washington state, and he was quite encouraging in our move to the Northwest. Living in the interior desert, I would finally understand the intricacies of water legislation and management, which had been one of his specialties. Another arose from being a writer of the Alaska state constitution, a place that also had close connections to Washington state.

After packing up and moving westward, I never returned to Indiana, apart from the brief drive crossing on the toll road in the north on our return to Ohio after the Pacific Northwest.

I’d say the book was closed, yet the writing and revision were actually still ahead.

~*~

From Spiralbound Hoosier, with commentary from now.

 

Think of it as a wild underground ride

Coming from an industrial city in the American Midwest, subway systems — most notably New York — were a terrifying, exciting, mystifying, and ultimately enlightening ride for me. Let’s throw in a little Tibetan Buddhism and a slew of graffiti along the way and it makes for a colorfully surreal ride. For me, they’re an essential dimension of truly major cities, though the jury’s still out for the newest ones, mostly in China.

That said, now is your best chance to find my novel, Subway Visions, available for FREE at @Smashwords as part of their Annual Summer/Winter Sale. To discover the book and download it, go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/833902.

But act fast. The offer ends soon.

Along the tubes to nirvana

(For those of you who aren’t ebook, readers, the novel is available at regular price in a print edition at Amazon.)

Is a job search always a tribulation?

After reviewing old clippings: “How close my writing has come to greatness … or to babble.”

At the RT, how much our photography carried us, especially considering how thin, until the end, our local coverage was – how important our Saturday front-page feature was in setting us apart and giving the staff a fairer schedule. .

Morning on long-distance calls to Bordner, Aldrich, Swaisgood, L. Nighswander.

Other fronts, Russ called back, said Larry Hale expected an “editor’s position” in several weeks … So much confusion, would I really want to go back there?

And the letter from Tacoma, $20,000 arts and entertainment, if they get the opening … What do I make of this? McClatchy upswing versus Gannett versus a fighting crew at the foot of Pike’s Peak?

 

So what about Colorado?

Imagination still reeling with thoughts of the Rockies. A place to be at peace? Low pay may be an incentive to freelance or grow.

The West may spur a novel. I’m too boxed in here.

On the brink of Colorado. A time of despair, anxiety, and waiting through the layoff.

Early May, Colorado Springs, round-trip ticket, $189.

On flight out: half of southern Indiana is forest. Region defined the sudden shift to farmland where the hills give way to flatness.

Contrasting smoothness of disked fields next to rougher plowed.

Strip-mine lakes outside Terre Haute.

~*~

Colorado Springs Sun: Don’t feel there’s much I can do here – to many “trained incompetencies,” exhausting and routine-work hours. B.B. [the editor who was to hire me] is leaving for Detroit after eight months here.

No local color in the paper. Newsroom looks and smells like RT. Computer (VDT) may help – question is, how much?

Upon seeing first UPI lead, realized how clear, precise, and simple my own style has become. Newspaper work may destroy that – at least, I feel it slipping away.

No sense of nuance, of grace, of individual voice – that is, true style – in this news writing, which exists as stilted and artificial as any literary style. It is divorced from the human voice and from American speech.

 

Another Far West facet

All along during my stint as a research associate, I was reading technical material on Indigenous artwork. Here are some sample entries from my Bloomington journaling.

 

 

 

 

~*~

Back from the Rockies

Indiana feels too thick, too green and wet in contrast. My sinuses are acting up again. I’m out-of-place in America.

Horoscope says a month or two before big change. We’ll see.

Looking at the cons: long hours (nine to ten hours a day), ending at 2 or 3 am; low pay, publisher interference, no investigative reporting, and someone named Dana …

I’m having to admit that not getting that job was a blessing. I would have been engulfed. The trip was, though, at my own expense, devouring half of our savings. 

 

Just where might I be heading?

Doubts about “where I want to go.” Should we make the plunge into NYC? Find an agent yet? (I’d rather wait two more years.) I feel the necessity of steady income, yet also feel “duty to yourself” calling. Turned down music critic position at Herald Telephone. Hard for me to say No to any job, even with low pay. ($10/review; negotiate on features, say $50/page.) Don’t think I really want newspaper work. That’s hard to admit.

Copy editors are a kind of janitor and paid accordingly. Hence, I should concentrate on power-writing. (Like advertising?)

My own failings coming home as nobody wants to hire me, not yet, free me from the damn suspense/suspension with half of our goods packed in crates and warping corrugated boxes, the general feelings of inutility accented by this ungodly heat and humidity

Late June, returned yesterday from two days [of housesitting] at Dietz’ … and found a letter waiting from Yakima. Very exciting prospect, work split between copy editing and general assignment reporting. A nice balance, good pay, exactly where I’d like to be – the dry side of the mountains. And Kat’s very excited. Hope everything works out. (Received a formal job application to fill out and return.) Getting anxious to get the address situation straightened out and new pieces into the mail. …

Wherever we wind up, I’d like to publish a few chapbooks of my work, for free distribution to friends and critics (and some for sale). Would also like to get a typist to do final drafts of potential freelance pieces. Will need to arrange more office-type space … we need Kat’s extra income …

Already, we’re anticipating spending that extra income … new car, furniture (that’s her idea), new clothes, bigger place, airfares …

A call today from Center for Law and Poverty in Indianapolis, a job I’m not too crazy about but one that might be the springboard for the southern Indiana magazine/tabloid I’ve been pondering.

Other calls to/from Yakima, which sounds better and better but less and less likely, like an impossible dream.

Nancy Neubert saying Yakima is a very nice, good place: agricultural, wealthy, conservative, hydroelectric cheap electricity, good produce abundant and cheap, Spanish and English …

The m.e., there since March, Steve Kent, from Albany, New York, thus appreciated my Binghamton angle. A good phone conversation.

Located Snyder’s lookout towers on the map, though Sourdough was not shown. Some of the other sites he relates, though, were.

Spicer: “West Coast is something nobody with sense would understand.”

Good place to end this journal. 10:20 pm, night of new moon, unseen through the haze

~*~

From Spiralbound Hoosier, with commentary from now.

 

Aftermath of the layoff: anxiety and rest

I have had the leisure of a year in these woods – some weeks, every day – to watch and learn and assume their changes. Meaning, I’m turning.

 My insecurity over income – as for antiques as a line, seems akin to Swami Rudi and his disciple (the routes not taken!) …

At least I was on unemployment compensation.

The dripping wet richness of these soils.

Meeting, with all the people I wanted to get to know better.

Electrical outage: Can’t write, can’t cook, TV won’t work, music’s silent, too dark to read. Our life has come to this?

Horses can tear up trails, too.

~*~

We lived on Leonard Springs Road, named for a ravine and at the time hidden cave beyond our home. My frequent explorations inspired a set of poems, which can be found at my Thistle Finch blog. The terrain, which included the then breached city water reservoir, has now become a public park, as you”ll find in a photo album at Thistle Finch. The woods had more than its share of trash at the time.

 

 

Images by Vmenkov via Wikimedia Commons.

~*~

Don’t remember this, must have been a Mtg picnic at the Dietz’:

Crazy sunfish, or some other board with two sails, won’t steer right, won’t steer left, the wind’s unsteady, shifting, blowing us over again and again.

We can’t go back, keep going in circles.

Two hours in May, cold lake water, chilled to bone before we run ashore on the dam.

Bill comes out in his outboard boat to tow us back.

A hot shower, group hug, and two cups of coffee couldn’t warm us from that.

Half of our goods packed, not knowing whether we’ll be here or faraway – no way to plan.

Kat upset (but trying not to show it) because her husband is a bum (she keeps wanting to see me working around the house, but I feel cramped in/crammed in) … I’m wondering how inert a human can be … she’s not working at her art, either …

 A break in the 90-degree weather: “bearable, even pleasant like Upstate bright sunlight amid small clouds.

~*~

From Spiralbound Hoosier, with commentary from now.

Om, sweet Om

Before yoga became sanitized across America, it was being taught in a rugged range of fringe movements, especially after the Woodstock festival. Among the centers was the one I knew two or three hours outside of the Big Apple, which I distill in my novel Yoga Bootcamp. Except that our guru was a woman and I throw in some details from two other ashrams not all that far away. Ashram? You’ll have to read the novel. Ours was something like a commune, except Swami ruled with an iron fist. As you’ll see, even if the teacher is Elvis or Big Pumpkin rather than a she.

Now is your best chance to find my Yoga Bootcamp available for FREE at @Smashwords as part of the site’s Annual Summer/Winter Sale. To check out the book and download it, go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/936008.

But act fast. The sale ends soon.

(For those of you who aren’t ebook, readers, the novel is available at regular price in a print edition at Amazon.)

Come on in to Big Pumpkin’s ashram

Workshop, part two …

Plain sheet, “Session w. EO: 16 December 75”

Qs about my future direction: poetry/fiction or social science, technical editor? (Would like to pull them all together, in manner, say, of Norman Mailer.) We need to think these through.

If top-notch soc sci editor, need further methodological/statistical expertise (Tuftde’s reader?) Also, the Psychological Assn. stylebook. NEED TO EXAMINE TABLES IN OUR OWN MATERIAL. That means going beyond the text side of the work.

How does a niche writer/editor survive outside New York City/Washington? How does one get out of the newspaper game, with its dead end in the future?

Need to invest time in reflection, in serious review, in gestation of a piece (and of myself).

Schedule normal [regular] half-hour/week session with EO, putting more concerns on paper, increasing the communication between us.

With tables, I need to verbalize what’s happening: create sentences summarizing the data: check the data with the text. Haven’t been doing that.

Revisiting this, I cringe. The prophecy is on the wall.

~*~

A break, a vacation – chance to think, breathe, reflect – pushing too long, with too little success …

Notes of struggles at work, in my own literary efforts, and at home …

Pages of attempting to come to grips with editing statistics …

Induction / Deduction
Specific / general
To general / to specific (syllogism)

Probability soups, judgment soups, convenience soups, etc.

Frequency or distribution of measures: straight tables, numerical &/or percentage, as I noted.

~*~

3 feb 76: Valve blown on Omkara; engine will be torn down to see how bad the damage is. Long conversation with EO and RBP today. Feel they are half pleased, half unhappy with my work. Very frustrating. Job very demanding but feel most of the time I’m working in a vacuum. RBP wants more incision on statistical recitation, more devotion (upset at Thanksgiving trip away), more initiative (finding outlets and ways of repackaging our materials). EO needs more time to write, as does RBP. Send them memos, rather than speaking, unless in a meeting.

 Graduate Library, all the floor indication lights/numbers on the elevators worked today,

Vol. 40, blue IU, 5:III:76, opens: Layoff.

Portentous day

Kat gone to Louisville (w/ classmates?).

Meeting w/ EO & RBP expecting the worst on “the newsletter and the future” turned out to be two-months’ notice. “The time has come to realize our paths are diverging and to part while it’s still cordial.”

EO saw our different directions, the increasing math editing to come, plus the budget delays.

Pflum: “They always do it so gently.”

Looking at options for future, and whether Kat could complete her degree in a year. Freelance editing? “The insecurity scares me.” Among the scenarios I put on the plate: go to Sycamore, clean up Mom’s old place next door, learn antiques for a year or two …

“I feel abandoned and unbelievably alone. Haven’t felt this way since meeting Kat … Noz is lonely and trying to bat this pen”

I need to recapture and regenerate the joy of life, the simple contagious power to live …

WILD-ness and clarity.

 What an emotional stress the Workshop has been – the anxieties, deadlines missed, wild-goose chases; their anticipation of 60-hour weeks (yet also quality and originality), the deadening meetings and academic facades.

I sense one principal has never suffered. He lacks that depth, or didn’t learn from if he did, or else formed a shell.

These days I wonder how much the movement toward quantification in political science (statistics rather than theory or philosophy or psychology even) has led to the conundrum today: surveys and strategies for votes – an absence of moral values, convictions, or purpose.

~*~

From Spiralbound Hoosier, with commentary from now.

Among unspoken initiations along the Way, befitting an Ashram Journal  

When we sit silently in worship, clouds that separate us may evaporate, allowing us closer to oneness, our own fullness, which is the essence of God.

The closer we get to Truth, the more tolerant and understanding we become of others. There can be no lasting revolution in the world until we’ve changed ourselves, as in reborn or liberated or enlightened, even self-realized.