- Be more attentive to relationships.
- Do a better job of housecleaning.
- And gardening slash yard work.
- Read more of the books I’ve amassed and plunge through the backlog of magazines.
- See to the home renovations.
- Relish in the publication of Quaking Dover.
- Exercise more. Including time for treks in the wild.
- Revisit my journals.
- Have better dreams.
- Act my age.
Tag: Funny
A few great regrets in my life
Maybe it’s just the end of the year and looking ahead, but let’s be honest.
There are things we’ve all done that we wished had gone differently.
Here are some of mine.
- Not knowing the realities of boy-girl relationships back as a teen. I missed out on a lot of fun and companionship. Maybe I should even add learning to dance, and not that four-square stuff they tried to stuff us into back as sixth-graders. No, New England contras and Greek circles were both epiphanies, much later.
- The big dream that turned out to be false. Along with all the promises I believed.
- Blowups and inadequacies in parenting.
- Divorce. And an inability to confront her long before that. Ancient history now, but even so.
- Hurting others.
- Failing to make a bestsellers list.
- Leaving the Pacific Northwest with my tail tucked ‘tween my legs. Even though I finally wound up living in a couple of places that suit me even better.
- Not being able to see a big research project through to completion. Not our fault, but I still believe it would have made a huge difference in an awareness of how politics and public services really work.
- All the missed social cues and opportunities that went with that. Yes, post high school. It may have even meant my professional career would have gone more Big Time.
- All those years of little to no physical exercise, even if I am in pretty good shape for my age.
Some of my favorite dishes the leading lady in my life creates
As I’ve said, she’s one of the world’s great cooks. Middle-Eastern, Italian, Mexican, French, German, even Vietnamese, Thai, and Indian, she does them all and with flair. Me? Let’s look at some of the more regular things I’ve delighted in.
- Anything over charcoal – lamb, peppers, flatbreads, steaks and chops. It never really figured in my life before her. Usually, they were more like sacrificed offerings.
- Roast chicken any number of ways – thyme or rosemary lead my list, but Thai and even Indian now come close behind.
- Asparagus under a poached egg – ditto for spring dandelion.
- Strawberry or blueberry clafoutis. It’s just one of her many creamy desserts that wow me, often with our own berries.
- My annual birthday bash of prime rib and Yorkshire pudding, which she says is one of the easiest things ever.
- She’s quite fond of pork. One year we even had a whole half-pig to play with, cut up to her specifications. I think I’ve already told that story.
- Homemade yogurt. It’s almost like ice cream.
- Pho or banh. Vietnamese staples.
- Chowders. Sometimes using lobster stock from leftover shells.
- Souffles. They taste as heavenly as they look. Even after they deflate.
Now that I’m done bragging, what’s some of your favorite home cooking?
Favorite names I haven’t used in a novel
I’m waiting to name a character Sorrell. And Hezekiah is what I would have loved to have named a son, not that I would have found support on that one. Maybe as a middle name?
In a story, I try to avoid using names of people I know, or at least know well. Ditto for close family. So they don’t count here. It certainly narrows the range. On top of everything, after multiple revisions, I don’t always remember what I’ve kept in the end.
Besides, a name should be suggestive.
Now for ten or so more.
- Lane. Or Blaine. Unisex, very useful.
- Perry. Unisex again.
- Majik. Was a fisherman around here but could be unisex.
- Dana. Well, since we’re on a roll.
- Marilyn. Evocative, yet all-American.
- Pierce. I see a cutting edge in his glance.
- Bonita. Could go by Bonnie, too. From the Spanish, makes an alternative for Linda, which I also haven’t used, or Melinda, even better.
- Trent. The family had aspirations and this was the golden boy.
- Berry. Back in unisex, along with alternative spellings.
- Lark. Even Clark. Or Clifford. Or Larkins.
For children, though, I’ve become very fond of handing down family names. Even using a maternal surname. Guess it’s the genealogist in me at work.
We haven’t even gotten to nicknames, which can really pop a character into focus. Think of “Willy” as one possibility.
How ‘bout some suggestions from you?
Rhymes with ‘waltz’
Have no idea why it started dancing around in my head. Maybe it’s an example of why I don’t write rhyming poetry.
- Exalts
- Faults
- Halts
- Salts
- Malts
- Assaults
- Vaults
- Catapults
- Schmaltz
- Gaults (thick heavy soils)
Sign of living in a really small town
His return address was his last name and nine-digit Zip code.
Moment of panic
Where’s this week’s Zoom link for our Quoddy Voices rehearsal?
Then I remembered we’re meeting in person.
A few things that peeve me royally
Look, don’t make me elaborate. Here are a few, in no particular order.
- Getting stuck in traffic
- Having my plans derailed
- Overly loud music or TV or movies or mufflers
- Not being able to make out the dialogue or lyrics. Along with people singing way out of tune
- People cutting in line or who who can’t count the limit in the express checkout
- Stupidity of all sorts, but willful stupidity most of all
- Arrogance
- Lateness or just not showing up, as promised
- Lying and cheating
- Abuse of authority slash power or gross injustice in general
Your turn! Lay it on!
Moose on the loose
This was going to be about squirrels, my nemesis in Dover, but now I’m thinking of Bullwinkle and his kin.
After all, I am living on Moose Island, not that I’ve seen any in town yet. But then I’m not seeing many squirrels here, either. Instead, it’s mostly deer.
Now, for the star of today’s show.
- Moose are the biggest member of the deer family and, unlike the others, prefer to be solitary rather than in herds.
- A bull can weigh in at up to 1,500 pounds, while a cow can be up to 1,000 pounds.
- Their broad, “open-hand” shaped antlers (not horns) can stretch up to six feet end to end.
- Calves stay with their mothers for a year or more but are weaned at five months.
- Their mothers are quite protective and have been known to kill bears with their kicks.
- They’re adept swimmers and can trot at up to 35 miles an hour, despite their slow-moving, sedentary, and dumb image.
- They’re a road hazard. They’re drawn to the pavement for the salt that’s been spread to melt snow and ice. And then they think they can outdo a car or truck, not that they don’t do some serious damage.
- A bull can eat up to 71 pounds of food a day – half of it aquatic plants needed to balance the bark in their diet.
- The fall mating season includes energetic fights between bulls over a desired cow.
- Their hide is often covered with a blanket of thousands of parasitic winter ticks, which stay attached for up to six months, sapping a moose of energy, blood, and hair. They’re the leading cause of death in moose less than a year old and diminish adult cow reproduction.
Favorite canines from a non-dog lover
Eastport is filled with dog walkers, even more than Dover was, and their perspicacity in making the rounds umpteen times a day amazes me. What else do they do with their lives?
Don’t count me as a dog lover. I grew up having cats. You never step in their poo or take them for walks. And now, rabbits. Ditto.
That said, here are some dogs I’ve had to deal with, one way or another.
- Grimm. The one in Mike Peters’ comic strip. I had a small role in getting it rolling. Still love the caustic humor.
- Rin-Tin-Tin. A frontier mascot in a TV series we watched back in the black-and-white days of TV. Gee, how could I forget Rusty, orphaned in an Indian raid, much less the fact his dog was a then-exotic German shepherd or their home was a U.S. cavalry outpost? I always wanted a pair of gloves like the lieutenant’s.
- Lassie. Another TV star. Gee, when’s the last time you saw a collie? They used to be everywhere, in no small part because of this show.
- Silas. Our neighbor’s German shepherd back in Indiana. He appears in my novel, Nearly Canaan.
- Sal. The big pit bull my younger daughter and her roommate rescued from a shelter. An amazing animal who had one unacceptable quirk. This story ends sadly.
- Our neighbor’s Irish wolfhounds. They would hang over the six-foot fence separating our yards and howl mournfully. Maybe they knew their lives were doomed to be short, a problem with huge dog species.
- Blue. Maybe you know the song? “I had a dog and his name was Blue, bet you five dollars he’s a good dog, too.” Get me the Kleenex.
- Pluto. The mopey Disney cartoon character, not Roman mythological ruler of the underworld. Back to childhood, naturally.
- Simon and Schuster. A pair of basset hounds walked around here by an aspiring writer and her dutiful partner.
- Snoopy. Back to the funny pages, we have Sparky Schultz’ classic and patient observer of human folly. I didn’t appreciate him until he was nearing the end of his run. I think Mike Peters’ wife had a role in opening my eyes here.
Honorable mentions to Fang in Harry Potter or Toto in Wizard of Oz. If only I were a fan of those works.
Tell me about your dogs. Please!
Jnana's Red Barn 