Hearing the allegations flung at Hillary Clinton, I keep wanting Donald Trump and his camp to look in the mirror. So much sounds like psychological projection, where you cast your faults on others.

Remember, for instance, New York magazine has declared Donald J. Trump the most corrupt presidential nominee ever – worse than Ulysses S. Grant, Warren G. Harding, Richard Nixon, George W. “Halliburton” Bush, Ronald Reagan (who has the most indictments and convictions, by the way), James Garfield … what a list of Republicans! And yet they complain about Mrs. Clinton? Gimme a break!

Of course, when it comes to worst president ever, the trumpeting elephants blithely blare another name or two, ignoring the harsher reality. Eight years ago we were mired down in two wars, one of them launched with no justification, and were moments away from global financial collapse into another Great Depression … and despite unparalleled obstructionism from the GOP, we’ve had a president who has restored the economy and reduced the military burden.

Maybe that mud’s turning into quicksand. Just where are they standing, anyway?

One lesson we should have learned from Watergate is that inside information from a  rival’s political campaign can be used to wreak havoc in the democratic process. If you know their plans, you can thwart them. It’s like knowing your opponent’s hand when you’re playing poker. The burglary, after all, stole from the Democratic Party headquarters and involved former CIA spooks. And it’s all a high-stakes game.

When the plot unraveled, it was enough to bring down a sitting president. A crooked president, at that.

The WikiLeaks thefts, by Russian spies, is far worse. No matter what they turn up, their goal is to undermine an American election in the Kremlin’s favor. You know, the kind of nightmare the right-wing used to warn us against in screaming about the threat of the Kremlin and left-wing pinkos. I just wish those folks in the Trump camp would hear that warning more clearly, rushing up behind them.

Here’s a proposal for those who believe unlimited, unregulated gun ownership and gun use are the sole point of the Second Amendment. If you’re so convinced that a firearm improves the safety of you and your family, please move to a neighborhood like South Los Angeles or sections of Philadelphia or Chicago where drive-by shootings are commonplace. Join a gang, if you, must, but come back in a year and a day to tell us how reality has impacted your opinions and notions. If you’ve survived. Or life even matters.

How can I listen to a presidential nominee who more and more looks and sounds constipated?

Or is it more simply his stony, dark heart?

Either way, I wish he’d come clean. This is getting exhausting.

As the calls for Donald Trump to withdraw intensify, we can speculate on the dimensions of a Mike Pence run for the White House.

The reality is that the former governor of Indiana is more qualified for public office than Trump – not only was he chief executive of a $31 billion budget, about six times Trump’s estimated worth, he’s run political campaigns and won, which is more than can be said for the Trumpster, a pitiful novice.

Bland as he is, and with all of the baggage he carries from his terms as a Hoosier politician, the question would be whether Pence could reclaim enough votes from the Republican exodus to beat Hillary Clinton. Would he be too tarnished by his association with Trump – and the reality that he was Trump’s third choice, after Chris Christie and John Kasich? Think of all the high-ranking Republicans who have already endorsed Clinton. That would make for a lot of backtracking.

Or would he appeal only to the aging white males who are the last stand of the GOP? For that matter, would they even remain or abandon the cause altogether, now that their buffoon ranting head has abandoned them?

Equally intriguing would be the thinking within the Clinton campaign. How would her team retool its ads and strategy in reaction? Can Pence move deftly enough to escape the inevitable bee stings or poisoned arrows? Does he have any foreign policy expertise to counter hers? As senator from New York, she can easily match his command of domestic policy. I’d say he’s vulnerable on both fronts. At the moment, the presidential race has come down to a rejection of Trump more than an affirmation of Clinton, who lacks the enthusiastic following Bernie Sanders engendered, definitely. In the end, I keep looking at Clinton as the qualified boss I’d like at the head of the operation, no matter how I feel about her personally. Dating, were it an option, would be out of the question. That seems to reflect much of the energy I’m seeing around me. Besides, Scorpio and Aquarius are in opposition. As she finds in her husband’s Leo.

Put another way, Pence is a lot less sexy than Clinton, even when we’re not talking about marriage or fidelity.

Well, that brings up the question of Trump’s withdrawing. As in withering, otherwise known as going flat. Since he’s the one who slipped his schlong into public discussion back when, this only seems fair, even before the anarchist statues.

Now, should we mention the Yiddish term schmuck?

Well, as I was saying? Where is Bernie, anyway?