Ever have one of those days? You may have some serious reasons for concern if it includes the following symptoms.

1. Feel like you’re shrinking in size? Down to two spans high?
2. Suffer deep embarrassment or shame?
3. Have a desire to retreat underground?
4. Get hot-tempered? Irritable?
5. Find gold-diggers offensive?
6. Sense a reluctance to interact with humans?
7. Sympathize with prudish women?
8. Have flashes of innovation or cunning?
9. Wild hair?
10. Ugly?

And here I had thought these were simply symptoms of aging.

Living in Down East (aka Downeast) Maine is confusing enough, considering that it’s mostly north. How about some other place locations?

1. Upper Cape versus Lower Cape Cod as well as the Inner Cape and Outer Cape, meaning Cape Cod, Massachusetts, not what you’d usually think
2. Deer Isle (Penobscot Bay, Maine) versus Deer Island (Passamaquoddy Bay, New Brunswick)
3. Swan’s Island, off the coast, versus Swan Island in the Kennebec River
4. Saint John (New Brunswick) versus Saint Johns (Newfoundland)
5. Round Pond versus Round Lake, both in Washington County, Maine
6. Salem, New Hampshire, 28 miles from Salem, Massachusetts
7. Portland (Maine) versus the newer one out west
8. Washington, the state, versus the District of Columbia
9. Columbia, as in the river, and Colombia, the nation
10. Missouree, as it’s pronounced in Saint Louis, and Missourah, in the rest of the state

Woodville is its own contentious issue, at least in the renamed Baileyville in Washington County, south of the one in Aroostook. Blame the U.S. Postal Service for trying to end the confusion.