Tag: Relationships

DESERT DANCES

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 1 Comment

Appealing to the heavens for rainfall was only one of the reasons for dancing. Your feet could pray as well as your hands in this landscape.

~*~

Somehow, the novice begins dancing, if only in his head. Something simple, at first, until familiarity gains ground. Feet, legs, torso, arms, and hands eventually follow. A reel leads into a jig. Thought and emotions balance. Head and heart dialogue. With confidence comes freedom. More and more, the aspirant concentrates on partners or the group or motion itself, rather than his own next step or position. The music becomes more textured, until the hornpipe stands as the liveliest structure. So it’s been in this landscape. This is not just any desert, for there’s nothing generic about any detail encountered closely. With both people and places you come to know dearly, you find nuances and subtle contradictions will blur any sharp image. It’s easier to describe someone or something you meet briefly than what you know intimately. To say desert is dry and sunny misses the point, especially if you arrive in winter. At first, like so many others, we didn’t even consider this valley as desert, for it has no camel caravans or mounds of shifting sands with Great Pyramids on the horizon. One word or phrase can be misleading. Even the Evil Stepmother from folklore and fairy tales must have possessed some redeeming qualities. Could we be more specific than “evil”? Simply selfish? Or was she mean, jealous, domineering, afraid of whatever, from the wrong party? Suppose she was really a victim of some deep abuse? The portrait changes. Has anyone detailed how she dances? In the end, it’s either entertainment or worship, depending on the individual’s orientation.

~*~

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URBAN AND OTHER WILDLIFE

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 2 Comments

As I said at the time …

We had enjoyed a glorious summer afternoon of swimming and canoeing at Pawtuckaway and, leaving the state park, we stopped by a tranquil reflecting pond to take photographs of a large beaver lodge. With my girlfriend behind me as while walked the frequently used trail at the edge of the woods, I heard her voice just as we were coming upon a grassy stretch: “Hey, this is a marshy area and that’s where SNA …” I half turned to reassure her that she wouldn’t see a snake, it happens very rarely in the outdoors, unless you’re really looking for them; consider how few times I’ve seen them in the wild and how far I’ve explored. But when I caught her expression the same moment I heard a slithering in the grass ahead of me and whipped my head about to see the last half of a vigorously moving reptile flash across the pathway a half dozen feet ahead, I wasn’t surprised when I heard her say, “I’m getting out of here. I’ll meet you at the car.” Actually, my biggest surprise was in how rational see was being, considering the depth of her fear. This is the same woman who, several weeks earlier, had nearly ripped another friend’s arm in half with her paralysis when a similar situation arose at Walden Pond. I’ve never before been with anyone who can call snakes from their lairs.

A week or two later, as we were walking about, looking for a restaurant in Boston’s Back Bay, I noticed two little critters playfully wrestling on an ivy-lined entryway to a church. Thinking they were chipmunks, I said, “Oh, look,” and as she turned her head, I saw in that fearful slow motion that they had long tails. Rats! Before I could divert her attention …

DIGGING OUT INTO SUMMER

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 2 Comments

Now that winter’s over, some of us are finding difficulty in trying to shift gears. Yes, the snow’s finally melted, but that’s not how I feel.

I suppose officially I’ve been enduring a mild depression, though for me that means mostly emotional numbness along with some simmering anger. Call it the blahs. No need to go into details here, other than to admit there were a few complicating elements of chronic negativity in the air.

What does matter is the feeling of being stuck. Molasses. Even impoverished, no matter the reality.

Where’s the joy, the sunlight, the ongoing pleasure?

There have been small steps. The daily indoor swimming, for one. Yes, it’s still a daily effort but also an emerging sense of accomplishment and meeting some goals. I’ve also been growing my hair out, which is going much slower than the first time around – don’t know if I’ll keep it this way, either, just wanted to revisit that side of my hippie past. Still, the seemingly terminal winter chilled much of my desire to play with my Christmas-gift camera, even if I did get some shots I’ll likely post next winter. (I just didn’t want to put any more snow and ice up on the Web. It was getting tedious.) And there’s been some overdue reading, including a bout of Philip Roth, pro and con.

The question, on this merry-go-round? Well, a cluster of questions, actually.

What’s really at the center? Where’s my core energy? What do I have to offer to others? To the world? How do I become a better person, more open to others? More compassionate, especially? In other words, how do I more fully engage the spiritual life before me?

Time to turn some soil, transplant sprouts, plant some seeds. Ideally, helping others – or sharing companionship in the process.

In other words, here we go ’round again.

YET ANOTHER SCANDAL

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 2 Comments

Growing up, many of us were instructed that the Fourth Commandment, “Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain,” was a prohibition against using certain curse words, not all of them confined to four letters.

But that misses a much larger situation: those who arrogantly claim to know or do what God wants, even when that harms others or runs counter to Scripture.

Faithful action, from all I’ve seen, requires humility and compassion. As humans, any of us can be wrong or fail, especially when we mistake our egos for divine guidance.

Newer translations of Exodus 20:7, I sense, capture this difference by using “misuse” instead: “You shall not misuse the name of Yahweh your God, for Yahweh will not leave unpunished anyone who misuses his name” (New Jerusalem Bible). The New International version, meanwhile, finishes the line with “not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.”

Everett Fox, in his close-to-the-grain rendering, presents the passage this way: “You are not to take up the name of YHWH your God for emptiness, for YHWH will not clear him that takes up his name for emptiness.” In a footnote, Fox explains “take up … for emptiness” as “Use for a false purpose.”

I can’t help but think of this in light of the continuing news reports involving the cablevision series 19 Kids and Counting.

We’ve heard their lines of argument.

Now listen for the “will not leave unpunished” part of the commandment. Who’s standing up for the alleged victims? And where’s the true, full submission in place of arrogance? Let the tables turn rightly.

For now, the words fly. And fly. Can we ask how many are empty?

FRIENDLY WEEDS

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 4 Comments

“They’re weeds,” my wife says. In this case, adding, “We’ll let them fight it out.”

The idea of giving permission to certain uninvited plants to push out others no longer baffles me. Yes, I still retain the definition of a weed as being “nothing more than a flower out of place,” a concept first encountered back in my Boy Scout days; experience, however, has taught that not all weeds were created equal. Feisty agression and stamina, of course, are qualities separating a weed from domestic plants we’re actually attempting to nurture.

in reality, though, some weeds are easily seen as evil – poison ivy, for instance, or bindweed or the ground ivy that would easily overrun everything else we’re trying to raise. The gout weed invading from the neighbors’ side of the fence, despite its lovely flowers, is another. Add to that the thousands of maple sprouts we uproot each spring — they’re rather victims of landing in an area we’d rather not have return to forest quite yet.

My wife and I have had more than a few disagreements over what she considers weeds and what I happen to appreciate. Mint, for instance, with associations I have with hiking in the bluegrass region of Kentucky and pausing to drink cool spring water – although I’ve now come around to understand its ability to take over a bed if left unchecked. Wild strawberries, for another. In either instance, these are things one can eat. In other examples, we’ve actually transplanted some commonly defined weeds, such as Queen Anne’s lace, to corners of the yard that could use some blooming help. Others, such as the flowering forget-me-not and dame’s rocket, are largely encouraged to spread as they will, along with any number of self-seeding plants that technically are domestic but have in their own way run wild – sunflowers and calendula, especially.

These are lessons in discernment, tolerance, and discipline. Working a piece of ground for more than a few years gives exposure to plants one begins to recognize and automatically uproot while strolling through a patch, perhaps with an intention of eventually learning its name. Somewhere in my files is a Boston Globe page of common New England invasive plants – what I remember is that we have nearly all. What I didn’t expect when we moved to this plot was that I’d perceive a hierarchy of weeds. That is, ones I’ll tolerate one year, while focusing on more troublesome species. This year, for instance, I’ve been uprooting Virginia creeper as the marsh marigold flourishes. Last year, wild roses joined the list. Our wild asters, meanwhile, go largely unchecked.

One other consideration arises in the fact that we have pet rabbits. As a consequence, we see dandelion greens no longer as weeds but rather as a voraciously favored part of their cuisine, in season. (More recently, the greens have become part of our spring diet as well.) Tall grasses gone to seed at the edge of the yard likewise fit into their salad.

Fighting it out isn’t reserved solely for our friendly weeds. There are corners of our yard where a number of species are proliferating, leaving us uncertain which ones will predominate over time. Joe Pye weed in a Jerusalem artichoke patch, for instance. At the moment, I’m anticipating their succession of blossoms, a definite improvement over what was there when we moved in. It’s not the orderly beds I once envisioned, nor the Japanese gardens I’ve long admired, but it is a style I’ve come to appreciate and even encourage, in my own small way. It’s not quite survival of the fittest, except for “fittest at the table,” as food or as a floral cutting. Fight it out, then, with a referee.

LILACS

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 4 Comments

So when did this appreciation begin? When I lived in the orchard house, we had a big lilac bush at the corner of the yard – the one where the bees swarmed from the hive that one day.

But I think the real change happened that spring after my first marriage collapsed and I was finally in love again. I crowded the house with those cut blossoms and their fragrance. It’s enough to make me picture a blue silk kimono.

That was years ago, and many miles. Yet the lilacs are more precious than ever.

As I said at the time, when I lived in that last apartment, I vowed if I ever bought my own place, I’d get cuttings from a friend whose lilacs likely descended from the first ones brought to North America. Of course, I didn’t, and the owner has since moved into a retirement center.

Even so, these days, we have our own, screening the Smoking Garden from the street. One lilac had, in fact, grown as tall as the house – but hollow. It’s been work, restoring them to flowering condition.

Still, there’s nothing more luxurious than lilac cuttings arrayed in the bedroom, with their heavenly aroma.

So quickly, they pass.

AT THE HEART OF AN UNDERLYING TENSION

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 7 Comments

As I said at the time …

In these reflections on Quaker practice, I’ve tried to avoid overt theology. Leave that for messages in worship or for “nuts and bolts” workshops. My focus has been largely on ways our faith comes together in community and some of the quirky sides to that.

This time, though, I want to remind us that the foundation of Meeting is our experience with the Divine – by whatever name we use, or however personal or transcendent the relationship. What is often seen as a tension between peace-action Friends and contemplative ones – or universalist and Christocentric, depending on the particular discussion – can be turned on its head: in Beyond Majority Rule, Jesuit Michael J. Sheeran argued “the real cleavage among Friends is between those who experience the gathered or covered condition and those who do not.” How astute!

There’s a difference between Quaker culture and Quaker faith itself. Since most of us in Dover Meeting weren’t raised Quaker, we’re not steeped in the culture, but we’ve adopted it, to whatever degree, in our own lives all the same. (Or at least like to think we have.) It’s more subtle than it was in the days of Plain speech and dress, but it’s there all the same. The faith part, of course, is at the heart of our worship.

We can ask ourselves if we were led to Meeting more by the culture or by the faith, and then ask how one activates the other. Jim Wallis, the evangelical editor of Sojourner, sees social action arising from the faith as an imperative. In a similar vein, one might see how central the Peace Testimony is in the teachings of Jesus, and how hollow the Christian message is without it. One lights up the other when the culture and faith move together.

Using the language that’s come to represent my experience, this is what happens with Christ amongst us. How do you express it?

BAD BOYS, GOOD GIRLS

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 3 Comments

As I said at the time …

Came across a fascinating insight a while back, something that might continue our “bad boys/good girls” dialogue. The writer, a mother, was observing that even in second grade, teachers automatically divided the class into bad boys and, you guessed it, good girls. By extension, then, coming as this does around the time that most boys are undergoing their sexual and emotional separation and twisting away from Mother, a different path from the girls’ formation, the very model of boyhood becomes, by definition, to be bad! To be a “good boy” is in effect to be a sissy, a girl. To be bad is to push the limits, be independent, be a leader, take action, grow up fast.

Perhaps this is when the boy really needs the mentor figure Robert Bly envisions, to take the boy into wilderness beyond the camp. Maybe it was the same writer (newsroom means little time to read closely, and often not to make a printout either) who was warning that American society has a real time bomb in the making as boys are being subjected to some very confused expectations and accusations. To be virile is taken to translate as promiscuous; strong, as violent; and so on.

Incidentally, David Hernandez’s “Bruises” demonstrates one side of this boy/girl outlook marvelously: when you were a child, did girls ever compare their signs of toughness like this? (So who are the “bad girls”? Tomboys? Or loners at the edge, exploring their own imaginations? Diane Wakoski has pursued this as well as anyone I can think of, but the field still seems wide open!)

Oh, well, I can only open these issues in a poem; resolution comes somewhere else!

~*~

Blue Rock

My collected poems are available in Blue Rock. The ebook’s free in the platform of your choice.

 

 

 

ABOUT THE TIME WE’D THOUGHT WE’D HEARD IT ALL, SOMETHING WOULD COME UP

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

One thing about being in the news business was how much that we covered was more or less routine. Yes, there were the variations on the given theme, but you could easily fall into a formula in covering them. Think of elections or a football game, for instance. Somebody wins, somebody loses, and you quote from both sides.

There would also be developments that simply fell outside the realm of what we’d covered, and when I started out as a journalist, community tastes were stricter than what now fills the coverage. Pedophile priests and sexually abusive parents, for instance, were never mentioned. Ditto, the private lives of politicians. And pit bull dog attacks were way off in the future.

Not so now, and it’s one of the reasons I burned out editing the low-life stories. After all, not even Hustler magazine would have touched much of the grossness that was now appearing even on the front page.

My goals in journalism were far loftier than soft porn, even in a courtroom setting.

~*~

Still, I was surprised how many times I felt I’d seen and heard all the basic stories, only to be hit by something that seemed completely new.

One of them was the arrest of one of our sportswriters on charges of pimping. Ouch! A professional with children? Somebody we knew?

And then the other day a report took that a couple of steps further.

Seems a man responding to an advertisement for a “social-type service” went to a local motel room only to be met by the woman, as expected. But there he also discovered another man and a pit bull dog, neither of them anticipated on his end.

In the ensuing events, as the story goes, the customer was beaten and robbed before escaping and being chased bleeding and naked by the pit bull into the parking lot before a phone call from the front office summoned police. (There was also something about brass knuckles that were tossed aside in the fray, but let’s stick to the basic outline.)

I keep wondering about the old “honor among thieves” code among outlaws. Aren’t there supposed to be some strict standards of behavior involved? Even among crooks, doesn’t a double-cross draws contempt, as does betrayal? In the case of prostitution, for instance, doesn’t that mean the pimp remains out of sight – or better yet, out of the room? And no dogs, unless they’re part of the, uh, proclivities of the john?

For the record, prostitution was not among the charges mentioned in this case. I raise the issue here more in the theoretical sense of illicit dealings. We could as easily substitute drug purchases or any number of other monetary exchanges. Remember, basic standards are assumed or the economic trade falls apart. Nobody would answer an escort-services listing if this was common practice.

So here we are with the new twists being the presence of the second man and the chase by the pit bull, only to find the ultimate recourse falls back on the police and criminal justice system.

As I said, it’s not your everyday news story. I’m left wondering how we would have handled such a police report in the “old days” or whether we would have published it at all. Or even if things like this even occurred back then.