There I was, driving behind a vehicle that had a GOP elephant logo when the random thought hit me: pachyderms generate huge amounts of offal. (I read it in the Wall Street Journal, a big piece about the job given the last guys in the circus parade, in fact, if I remember right.)

And then I realized how much of our current political mess was created by previous Republican administrations. (If we can’t afford X, Y, or Z now, remember how much was squandered on the meaningless Iraq war, for starters.)

The fact I want to focus on, though, is the question of whether an elephant is an appropriate mascot for an AMERICAN political party. It’s an import that’s ill-suited for much of the continent, and it consumes tons of food, no matter how mighty it can be as a workhorse in the jungle. It’s definitely not something for the masses, and definitely not something we’d want as one for every household.

A donkey, in contrast, is a very efficient workhorse, and stubbornness can be a useful quality, at times. One per household’s not that far off the mark as a historic American ideal, either.

If I were a Republican strategist (gee, banish the thought), I’d be pushing for a new critter to identify with. But nothing that comes to mind at the moment is anything they’d want to consider.

Count me among those who’ve long felt there’s a place for a viable third party in America. Or maybe even a fourth. Some place my positions won’t immediately be lost in tactical compromise. Some place I’d feel more identity than I’ve long sensed in the so-called representatives serving in most of the places I’ve lived.

To date, though, what I’ve observed is that most of the minor-party advocates and candidates have cast their eyes exclusively on the biggest prizes – the White House, especially, or perhaps a governorship or U.S. Senate seat. If you consider the scope of the Executive Branch and the number of qualified appointments to be filled, however, you soon realize there’s no way these individuals are prepared to take on that level of leadership. These are things that come out of big party organization and contacts.

At the other end of the spectrum, the reality is how rare the two-party dynamic is in most locales – it’s usually long-term control by one or the other – meaning the national parties are really just coalitions of 50 state parties. I happened to grow up in a state where regular sweeps of the state offices, from one party to the other, tended to keep things clean, especially in the voters’ welcome of mavericks.

Even closer to home, though, is the reality that getting candidates to run for local office is often a challenge. They don’t even have to be good – just a name willing to attend the meetings, if elected. Yet this is the bedrock of democracy and community.

Party affiliation – apart from ideology – can soon disappear in the practical decisions of garbage collection, fire protection, and street repairs. A Socialist city councilor did a top-notch job for our district, as is the plumber we keep reelecting.

An effective third party, then, would need to be built from ground-level up, not top-down. And that, I assume, would also mean region by region.

How else do you think it would shake out?

All those big-oil tycoons, hedge-fund managers, global conglomerate executives, and their lackeys who have contempt for paying workers a livable wages are murdering the work ethic that built America.

Protest all they want, they’re anything but conservatives.

Real conservatives would battle to save the covenant that assures all who labor will earn a livable return – shelter, food, decent clothing, health care, education, enough to raise a family, and time for rest and worship. That’s what real conservatives would pursue rather than greedy oppression or re-enslavement.

And we always assumed anarchists were all Socialists? Think again! The Tea Party’s full of ’em.

Now, tell me: Are anarchists all destructive, leaving nothing but destruction in their wake?

The right’s rife with ’em.

Sounds like a fit, the anarchists, matching everything they’ve been fearing.