still wondering why I’m amazed what one discovers in each move, why, unpacking is almost like Christmas, even the delights of discovering the workings of another’s mind, like Evelyn’s neat way of wrapping electrical cords to appliances (Mennonite heritage appears in curious ways) moving forward, rather than sideways or backwards on ice, your friend who made it thus far and nothing much broke
Tag: Life
Some we lost too early
I can’t help reflecting on some acquaintances who departed this life way too early.
Here are ten from my life.
- Carp: He was the heart of my high school newspaper staff, the cutup with a heart of gold. He had health issues, though, and a few years after our graduation, he suffered a rare and months-long decline that completely changed his personality.
- Orpha: Something similar happened to this Mennonite-Amish young nurse who came to Baltimore from Lancaster County.
- Cynthia: The wife of one of my best friends, she was a victim of cancer. I don’t think she was yet 40.
- Charles: My best friend ever, we knew each other during my three years in Baltimore and then went separate directions. I still don’t want to know what really happened in that hotel room, but I do wish I could have eased his pain.
- Bill: He had come through some difficult years and then found and married the love of his life. Unfortunately, he came down with a rare infection. We grieve especially for his widow. Life can be so unfair.
- Jean: She was a year older than me but definite proof of vitality in your sixties. I expected another ten good years of faithful service from her in our teamwork, but then a virulent cancer kicked in and moved quickly.
- Cissy: She had just retired, was delighting in her volunteer work at the local theater, but then she had a hard fall at home. She was always in motion when she worked with us.
- Larry: He knew how to command a room and then lead. Photojournalism powerhouse up almost until the heart attack.
- Swami: No warning. The ashram didn’t last long without her.
- My Grandfather Munroe: Three years before my birth, while giving a toast over dinner, he had a heart attack and died on the table. He was in his early forties and would have definitely had a big positive impact on my childhood had he lived.
Some families are closer than others
In my novel What’s Left, Cassia’s great-grandfather and his brother marry two sisters. One is named Diana. As is her granddaughter, Cassia’s mother.
How did your grandparents meet? Were they childhood neighbors?
Return to sender
still owe you that tango but don’t know if you were a better cartoonist than editor or publisher all we have is that moment of dancing between the line we’ve drawn on the beach defying the tide where we swim more freely than birds in flight, then before the last note Zippers
Manifesto or perchance confession
Fellow workers in the field know the practice is not easy. They notice movements and deft accomplishments as well as slips and defects the wider public doesn’t. They’re also rarely moved by easy though flashy flourishes and scorn the con-artist and cheat.
I’m not referring solely to other writers or artists, either. Watch a gymnast evaluate a meet or a figure-skater a competition. Even a software writer or electrician. Or a surgical nurse.
That said, when I’m drafting and revising intensely, I’m also more appreciative of qualities in the writing of others. At the best is an admiration of something I lack, a time for humility and gratitude rather than jealousy or envy.
It’s work, after all. Which is why published pages are called “works.”
Given a choice, the rational decision would be to browse through great pages already given to us by others. Browse, as sheep or cattle – OK, I joke, but the fact is I seldom find what most calls me.
Writing is work, especially when you’re already working a regular full-time job somewhere else. Why else where there those periods in my life where I rose at four a.m. to write and revise before going in to the office? How many others do likewise? At what personal cost to their lives and growth?
Real work, I’ll contend, is the practice of being fully alive. Aware. Totally there, at times.
Some people charge up and then release it in an extended explosion, as Kerouac did in his fiction.
I, in contrast, see it as a balance, between inspiration – breath within – and exhalation – the atmosphere without.
Creativity? No, God creates.
Man discovers, cultivates, nurtures, at best.
Practicing an art (and likely much more) means wrestling with power – including, in the Apostle Paul’s phrase, the “powers and principalities.” Powers of destruction, on one hand, and sustenance, on the other. Destruction that can, as seen too many times, include the artist. Hence, the fascination with Faust. With madness. Alcoholism. And on.
Self-absorption and inflated self-importance. We hazard much, often without the slightest awareness of the risks afoot. In Satan’s dominion over “the world,” which is the realm of the arts, or in Eastern thought, the traps of Maya, that spider web of worldly attraction and deadly illusion. Either way, cause to be wary.
~*~
Self-discipline, route to true freedom, strips away false attachments, barriers, chaff.
Writing involves observing my own shifting mind while opening to manifold living energies around me. It means simplifying, following unexpected leadings and openings, sometimes to dead ends, other times to unanticipated ranges.
~*~
Some of my fellowship at the time would have argued that’s not where I should be. Some were praying for me through this period. The kind of work that once would have had me read out of Meeting. Is this acceptable activity for a free Gospel minister? All I can do is explore the Truth given to me.
“We Quakers read only true things.” Distractions from worship? Traps of the flesh? So where does fiction fall?
The piece goes its own way: a living organism: readers, editors see it differently from you. What you would cut they love. What you love they see as sore thumb.
Versus becoming so rarified we lose all sense of joy and delight. The danger of Plainness or strictness, that it suffocates personality, makes us so humiliated we cannot move forward in the Holy Spirit to perform bold action.
~*~
My poetry has been influenced by the craft of headline writing and news reporting more than I care to admit. The trade paid the rent, provided a point of resistance in my personal endeavors. The Political Science Fiction I once envisioned has since come together in real history as a horrid reality.
Not that we’re anywhere near done yet.
Ten reasons I write
I’m talking about the poetry, fiction, even letters and blogging. My “personal” stuff, much more than anything I usually did at the office.
- To remember.
- To explore.
- To play with language.
- To connect.
- To dialog with myself.
- To read/share in public. To be part of a community.
- To become visible, earn recognition in the now fading dream of fame.
- As a form of prayer.
- To better understand and appreciate other writers. See what makes their work tick from the inside.
- To make money?
No, it’s not always business as usual
My first published novel ends as the protagonist joins with five hippie siblings who run a restaurant they’ve just inherited.
My novel What’s Left returns to the scene, to find the family’s prospered under the alternative approach.
Do you know any “retired hippies” who did quite well professionally? Tell us about one.
~*~

Do we see the sound of the ringing bell in our ear?
guys generally do the old zip in, zip out, knowing what we want before setting forth, grab only that, where most women look and look and look maybe even find a great bargain so the rare day I actually enjoyed being waited on, asking questions, getting directions from clerks who sensed they weren’t even going to get any income from me but what the heck, gave them something to do and someday I might even be back even though I didn’t find that much of what I was looking for who knows . authentic India incense (sweeter, more potent than the others), so it’s grins
Some of my favorite poets
Yes, I lean toward American contemporary.
- Ted Berrigan
- John Berryman
- Richard Brautigan
- Allen Ginsberg
- Galway Kinnell
- Roger Pfingston
- Gary Snyder
- Anne Waldman
- Diane Wakoski
- Philip Whalen
The act of tedious revision can lead to some favorite lines
My novel What’s Left, was in no rush for completion, contrary to my own desires. Still, I wasn’t going to artificially pressure this one.
As for my personal surprises this time? Some of my favorite lines popped up while swimming my daily laps in the city’s indoor pool.
Here’s one of Cassia’s outbursts that almost prompted me to change the name of the novel itself:
Oh, my, am I torn! I’ll tell you this, though. Buddhism comes in very handy when other kids are giving you so much grief you threaten to cast a spell on them and break out chanting Su To Ka Yo Me Bha Wa repeatedly and then just watch them back away. Oh, I tell you, it’s so satisfying!
What’s that do?
You’ll find out. You better be good to toads.
You get lots of respect for doing that.
~*~
Which title Do you think’s better — “What’s Left” or “You Better Be Good to Toads”? Or have I overlooked something even better?
~*~
Think of it as a cool Christmas present for somebody really special. Available at the Apple Store, Barnes & Noble’s Nook, Scribd, Smashwords, Sony’s Kobo, and other fine ebook distributors and at Amazon in both Kindle and paperback.
