RETURN

1

slowly approaching a line
that grows from the edge of the sea
and then spreads at the harbor mouth

slowly, details emerge
and at last, some recognition
in what’s become familiar

home, or at least neighborhood
extending

attuned here, more than elsewhere

the awareness, something all your own
has happened with this place
but not knowing precisely when

in the tide
returning

2

introductions, by degrees
lapping and receding

even in six hours

Plum Island with Eric, Bill
and the baby, “Why don’t we leave our towels
down there?” rather than the crest of the dune

“you’ll see”
once the surf bubbled inches
from our possessions

or high tide covering the jetty
that shaded the sailboat venturing out

or entering a ferry on one deck
and exiting
on the return, from another

or weather

on a carefully selected
Sunday picnic, and air
optimal for swimming at the sandbar
only to have the Coast Guard
pull up in an inflatable raft with a bullhorn
“Out of the water! A storm’s coming!”
while the sky’s still cloudless but
before we reach shelter two hundred
feet away, the sun’s gone and a deluge opens

with or without hail

or the mid-afternoon ferry
through twenty-foot swells
and returning at sunset
on calm water

not that we’re friends
or have much of what you’d call
a relationship

3

miles inland, closer to the house
detecting high tide in marshes and rivers
or its absence

salt hay in cow milk

Poem copyright 2016 by Jnana Hodson
To see the full set of seacoast poems,
click here.

GETTING ACCLIMATED

As I wrote at the time:

It’s the third straight day of temperatures above ninety, with humidity to match. Still, we’ve avoided a miserable July this year, and the heat has not locked itself into the house: we’ve been able to cool everything overnight. What strikes me is that we’re no longer floored by the oppression. We simply move slower, more deliberately. Avoid using the oven. (We’ll grill outdoors this afternoon.)

In other words, we’ve adjusted ourselves to seasonal change.

Come winter, we’ll have to brace ourselves all over again for biting cold. What will be bitter in November or December will instead feel balmy come February or March.

At the office, I know that any sharp change in the weather brings an increase in obituaries. We can joke about the shift that sends those who are barely hanging on over the edge, but the numbers support us. People in climate-controlled chambers all the same responding to minor shifts in barometric temperature or dew points, all the same. Do we inhale and exhale something other than air?

Spaces I’ve entered where silent prayer or meditation are already under way all felt set apart from their surroundings. I’ve sometimes described it as diving into water and swimming beneath the surface or like entering a pressurized rare-book library.

Returning to the ashram and its grounds after being away presented a similar sensation, as have old Quaker meetinghouses, even years after their regular use.

Live within that energy, and you no longer notice it – it’s simply the way life is. Leave it, though, and you can feel you are falling through space, for weeks on end.

~*~

For more Seasons of the Spirit, click here.

ALL OVER AGAIN. OUT OF NOWHERE

Why wait for the dust to settle? Here are 10 bullets from my end.

~*~

  1. A bit of gardening before Meeting for Worship. A round of picking raspberries, peas, string beans. Blueberries and currants are next to ripen.
  2. One foot in the present, the other in the past. Not just a pattern for dreams. It’s intrinsic to the process of writing. Add to that smells, sounds, touch, taste.
  3. I love the concept of the Commonplace Book – a kind of scrapbook of observations of a personal journey. It’s related to the tradition I discovered in whaling ship logs.
  4. The logbooks, by the way, had a specific form, which by 1840 came in printed versions with columns H, W, K – hour, wind, knots – plus course and comments like “lost sight of land” or notations of birds seen. Across the bottom of each page are other notes, such as latitude and longitude or the distance traveled in a day, where I saw up to 140 miles recorded. Turns out the entries also helped determine or justify extra rations for the crew and so on, depending on the conditions. Wonder how that format would work as a personal journal.
  5. What do we make of rounds of thunderstorms, interrupted by bursts of sunlight, knowing more weeds and garden slugs are on the way?
  6. The Portsmouth Greek Festival differs from ours in Dover. Their event has two food lines, rather than one, and an outdoor tent for dancing. It all takes place behind the church, rather than miles away. I’m surprised how little interaction there is between the two Orthodox congregations.
  7. Been meditating for 66 years now, one way or another upholding the spiritual discipline. More than half of that time has been as a member of Dover Friends, worshiping in our 1768 Quaker meetinghouse. Some of the members have been there the whole time with me. (How could that be? Already!)
  8. I’m not a big fan of comparative religion, looking for commonalities and similarities. I’m more interested in vital differences and nuance. How far this is from what I’d envisioned, back when I was largely agnostic.
  9. In a very fragile condition, a snake having just shed its skin.
  10. What was the biggest mistake in my life? (Or in yours?)

~*~

Doesn't everyone have a stone wall for the pots?
Doesn’t everyone have a stone wall for the pots?

ANCIENT VIBRATIONS

Instead, I looked in another direction and discovered that the Yakama people once occupied 17,000 square miles and had three distinct language stocks. So, even back then one tongue was insufficient to articulate the vibrations of this place, even as an open desert. To try relating the qualities of a simple thing, a pane of hundred-year-old glass, perhaps; the interaction of clouds and sun, alkali and volcanic ash is far more complex. You start by learning the names of flora and fauna. Watch, listen, wait. I open a window and consider the current research, which places the first people here about 14,000 years before my arrival. These nomads made tools from bone and mineral. Hunted large and small game. Fished salmon. Collected river mussels. Gathered wild food plants. Given a guide and sufficient time, maybe I could learn to do these things. (Don’t look at me, Kokopelli shrugs. I’m not from around here.) Maybe I shouldn’t feel so strange about being here, either, even though such long perspective makes me feel incredibly insignificant. The Anglo civilization embodied here is only veneer concealing much deeper systems. The ancient climate was cooler and moister. The land was dotted by many lakes and small streams. Grasslands scattered with pine stands and willow flourished where there’s only sagebrush now. Food sources included bison, antelope, deer, foxes, muskrats, rabbits, ducks and geese (their eggs, too), and turtles.

I want to leap through time to join them, dressing the hides of their game, or making rattles and tools. These people used red and yellow pigments, and valued birds for their feathers as well as their flesh — cormorants, geese, condors, turkey vultures, and eagles all had clothing functions. Maybe I need some ceremonial garb. (Come, now! Kokopelli is hooting with laughter. He loves to taunt and mock me.) Tiny bone needles were used as far back as 10,000 years. I have enough trouble with steel needles today. So what do I make of their earliest burials, cremations that send the body back into spirit?

It’s obvious my own difficulties won’t end overnight.

This is a time of sparrows.

For more insights from the American Far West and Kokopelli, click here.

AS TRULY

the reality of who we are
becomes too unbearable
to sustain

the animal, adorned
over shame

crawl away, then

in whose image
of Creation
are we naked?

O Holy One
casting light within
the diverse exhaustion
yet exposes
and heals

Poem copyright 2016 by Jnana Hodson
To see the full set, click here.

AS I WROTE TO ISAIAH’S MOTHER

That summer, I read his namesake book again, this time in the New Jerusalem Version, a fresh, scholarly translation that sticks very close to the text—in the process losing poetry while gaining directness. I’ve joked that this version sounds more like a batch of reports from a Quaker meeting’s Peace & Social Concerns Committee than a section from the Bible. Been surprised, too, how early in the text the hopeful, Messianic thread appears to weave through the warnings of doom and gloom; all along, I had thought the first half of the book was dominated by dark jeremiads, with the lightness taking the lead in the second half. Not so!

~*~

For more Seasons of the Spirit, click here.

A BIT OF SWEAT, EVEN IN THE SHADE

The mind dances here and there, rarely in a linear fashion. So what’s on my mind these days? How about counting on these fingers?

~*~

  1. Picking peas and raspberries. Then mow the lawn.
  2. The Hour of Visitation: that moment you have to decide. Accept Jesus. Agree to marry. Call the sale. Or it typically slips away. The door closes, sometimes ever so silently. Reopening it may be far more difficult.
  3. On the street, a fat porcupine pondering his shadow.
  4. How many strange events transpire unseen? A sense lingers after a chance observation, a moment of revelation suggesting a much vaster possibility of reality at hand.
  5. My goal is no longer to collect but to cull. I’ve been decollecting as much as I can, one sweep at a time. Recordings, books, notes, clothing … amazing to revisit so much that’s already here! Trail markers from a long journey to now.
  6. She’s often thought I’d be more at home in an earlier era. Well, maybe if I had some wealth and privilege. There, I’ve said it. That edge that’s too often been lacking.
  7. Watching bridge construction in tidal waters, I’ve wondered what keeps the cranes from swaying in the daily rise and fall of the current. Spud Legs, I’m informed, are sunk into the river bottom for stability. What a funny term! As in potato? Naw, more like spud bar. However the name ever originated.
  8. Sometimes life’s a whirlwind. Just what do we do with the calm?
  9. Teaching or translating as their source of income. The world is bigger than that. And so should the literary horizons.
  10. Looking back on your life, can you point to any work you’re truly proud of? Or does even the best somehow fall short?

~*~

So typical of New England, these overlapping neighborhoods. This one's just over the river from us, in South Berwick, Maine.
So typical of New England, these overlapping neighborhoods. This one’s just over the river from us, in South Berwick, Maine.

AS FOR WOLF

A wolf is powerful because it eats powerful food, Kokopelli warns me.

As for the girl-chasing man who’s always hungry, it’s “hair-pie,” he grins.

Although I’ve never hunted, I see points at which ancient traditions lurk within modern religious practices. Meditation, high among them, has roots in hunting and gathering. Then, too, there’s the role organized sportsmen have performed in restoring populations of wildlife, and you can learn much from hunters eminently adept at reading animals’ ways in the field. Keep an eye open.

Natures change slowly. The hunt on land and the water has barely begun.

There’s great game beyond food. Much of it, Kokopelli sings, runs through your brain.

For more insights from the American Far West and Kokopelli, click here.

ESTABLISHING DIRECTION

1

light in shimmering bronze
illuminates maritime charts and sails
unfurling with desires, an escape
in the apex of broad wakes

who you think you are
doesn’t matter
when the tide turns

a band from the North Star
turns toward harbor –
glints of affirmation or rebuke from a stranger –
ruffles bells and rigging

identities don’t matter
when the wind turns

off we go, then, and this time
this world or this way and then another

2

 five seals, headed north

their heads sparkling with stars
disappearing quickly

the austerity of beach swept clear

Poem copyright 2016 by Jnana Hodson
To see the full set of seacoast poems,
click here.

KEEPING THE HARMONY INTACT

As far as differences that threaten to disrupt Christian harmony between members, it is instructive to discover that pastoral bodies are no better prepared to deal with this issue than are we unprogrammed Friends; indeed, when our elders and overseers are vigilant, we are probably in better shape, (Who, for instance, mediates when the disharmony is between the pastor and a member?)

In one of our neighboring Meetings here, the clerk of Meeting and the clerk of M&C called a session between two former lovers whose tensions were more apparent to others than to at least one of the parties; while the two individuals could not resolve their differences, the session permitted them to present their differences in a way that precluded evasive behavior that had kept the tensions brewing; through this, the two agreed to stay away from each other and make no further claims on the other. Even when the effort at peacemaking results in something other than an ideal healing, it is encouraging to see officials from Meeting taking the initiative in dealing with a tension such as this; in the past, we would have been too inclined to dismiss the conflict as a “personal thing” and thus steered away from any attempt at clearing the air and Truth would have suffered. Thus, I feel I can report some encouraging signs from New England and from FGC, too, although I won’t raise any false hopes there, either. But to hear one of the principal speakers present a detailed Biblical study of “Exile Into the Promised Land” and, at the end of another session, to hear the co-clerk of FGC proclaim the importance of Christ within each person and each Meeting, was nothing short of miraculous this, at the end of a lecture in which the speaker was chiding liberal Friends for the pains they’ve inflicted, often unknowingly, upon Christocentric Friends,  even as we have done to the others.

There were many trials for me there, but also much service.

The best session was called for single Friends who are struggling with celibacy a gathering that differed sharply from the “safe sex” presentation earlier in the week, or what one person called the “love your latex” lecture. The celibacy discussion produced some precious sharing, ranging from the one young woman’s admitting how difficult it was for her to hug other women there after being accused by some of her leading them on, to the sudden discovery by another that celibacy doesn’t necessarily mean  “for the rest of your life” but rather “for now,” to another’s discovery that abstaining from sex was one way for her to reclaim control over her own life, to recognition for the need of affirming hugs and non-sexual touches within the Meeting (widows, children, as well as singles), to the need for intimate friendships that are not sexual.

Oh, yes, and then I found myself sitting in a session called to respond to John Punshon’s Pendle Hill Pamphlet addressed to Universalist Friends. For a while, it was like being the lamb in a lion’s den, but instead well, could there be a more opportune place to proclaim Christ? Maybe I simply have a new appreciation of Daniel these days.

Can’t think of any other news to report from this end.

Except that during the drive across Vermont to get to FGC, there were moments when my thoughts drifted off and I looked out and thought I was in the Shenandoah Valley instead something about the mountains and green meadows and the dairy aroma in the air. And then, ten miles south of St. Albans, it really began to smell like Harrisonburg. Small world. In the Peace of Christ –

~*~

For more Seasons of the Spirit, click here.