WHERE ARE THE TERRORISTS HIDING OUT IN SMALL-TOWN AMERICA?

Homeland Security’s grant of $240,000 to my placid city of 30,000 to purchase an armored truck for the police department has me concluding:

Anyone who thinks this is fighting international terrorism has a lot of explaining to do. This place is the epitome of calm vanilla, even with all the college students and nightlife.

Until I hear otherwise, the conclusion continues: if those officials see this town as a hotbed of terror, it’s time to abolish the Department of Homeland Security. Even if it means starting over.

MISSING IN ACTION, AGAIN

I’m waiting to hear from the right-wing of the political isle on the latest local issue of government waste. Yes, I know this one adds nothing to the city’s property tax bill, but it still comes out of our pockets.

I’m referring to last Wednesday night’s City Council vote on a $240,000 Homeland Security grant to purchase an armored truck for the police department.

That’s for a relatively quiet city of 30,000 residents.

It’s not the kind of place we have riots, much less terrorists.

Well, there’s some talk of using it in domestic-violence disputes, but honestly, I don’t see how a truck of any size is going to fit in a bedroom to calm things.

As for drug raids?

What do those have to do with fighting terrorism, anyway?

No matter how you slice it, this is government waste – from a federal agency that obviously has way too much money on its hands. Money approved by a Tea Party Congress.

DON’T EXPECT SYMPATHY

With a cap placed on the city’s major source of tax revenue, Dover’s public services have been stressed. The library, for instance, is closed most evenings as well as early Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. The public schools are in trouble, as you hear from parents, students, and teachers. Street repairs are often on a long list, along with other infrastructure upkeep and improvement. City hall had a leaky roof that went years to replace – there were buckets in the auditorium to catch the rainfall. You get the idea.

So City Council’s decision to accept a $240,000 Homeland Security grant to purchase the police department an armored truck – the description sounds like a flying saucer on wheels – does nothing to suggest common sense in high places. In fact, it’s salt in the wounds.

Does the police chief really expect public sympathy next time he’s trying to avoid staffing cuts and layoffs? Think again. And rely far more on those officers on the street than that armored truck, ever.

STRANGER THAN SCIENCE FICTION

The Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck my little city will be getting from Homeland Security – presumably to fight domestic violence and riots rather than international terrorism – is described as a personnel carrier that can transport at least 10 police officers (who knows about regular folks) and comes equipped with gun ports on each side and a rotating center hatch.

Get that, Darth Vader? I assume it has blinking lights all over as well. And maybe steam or fog pouring from under.

Yes, the Department of Homeland Security has been playing Santa Claus with its Law Enforcement Terrorism Prevention Program.

This decision does nothing, of course, to make me feel any more secure. Quite the opposite, actually. I hate to think what might happen if this vehicle gets out on the streets. Or bullets start flying. Or worse, it falls into the wrong hands.

It’s enough to suggest that too many bureaucrats in some high places have been watching too many weird action movies. Or are they really just 14-year-old male adolescents?

BEAR CATASTROPHE

Dover City Council voted, 7-1, Wednesday to accept a $240,000 grant to purchase the police department a BearCat.

This ‘cat, by the way, is not the least bit fuzzy – in fact, the name is an acronym for (get this with a straight face, if you can – its pomposity says everything) a Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck. That is, an armored vehicle for a city of 30,000 mostly average Americans.

More galling is the fact that the grant comes from the federal Homeland Security department. Are they trying to tell us international terrorists have put us in the bull’s-eye?

It’s really ridiculous.

A hearing Tuesday, with very little advance notice or public input, paved the way for Wednesday’s abrupt vote.

This is not how democracy’s supposed to work, especially at the local level. Some of us are feeling steamrollered by that truck. And steamed up, as well.

NEW ENGLAND CITIES AND TOWNS

In New England, you live in either a town or a city. There are no townships or being “out in the county,” as I’d known elsewhere. And the counties are relatively insignificant, at least politically; they’re largely for a court system, jails, and record-keeping.

Part of my confusion when I first moved to this corner of the country was an assumption that “city” and “town” both meant “urban,” with some population density and a central retail and commercial district. But that’s not always the case. In fact, some seem to be entirely rural.

Additional confusion can be caused by looking at maps and seeing dots representing settlement and then assuming they’re towns. Gilmanton and Gilmanton Iron Works appear, for instance, but they’re both in the town of Gilmanton and are separated by miles of forest. The community of Groveton is in the town of Northumberland. The city of Laconia includes the enclaves of Weirs Beach and Lakeport. A city or town may have a number of distinct neighborhoods or villages, sometimes with separate post offices or Zip codes. And so on.

Our cities and towns are geographical spaces differentiated by their form of government. Cities are managed by a mayor and board of aldermen, while a town relies on a three-person board of selectmen. Population? Some of New Hampshire’s 13 cities are quite small, while a handful of its 221 towns rank among the largest localities. The form of government is a local choice.

Except for the towns that have opted for a ballot-based alternative known as SB 2, the residents of New Hampshire’s towns gather on the second Tuesday in March for Town Meeting Day, a celebrated exercise in democracy where everyone gets a say, at least if the moderator’s on top of his or her game. They’ll tackle the warrant articles – the agenda published in advance, including town and school budgets and bonding – and also elect new officials.

In a few towns, the entire event’s wrapped up in a half-hour, while others stretch on for hours or even demand additional sessions. The ones that get quite heated may explain why Town Meeting Day’s held in winter.

~*~

Winged Death 1To see more of the region’s unique character and calendar, click here.

EFFICIENCY, PERCHANCE

As I noted after visiting the super-energy-efficient home of Fritz and his partner, Will:

The pilot light on their amazing AGA cooking stove heats the entire house through our northern New England winters, essentially, but doesn’t overheat it in the summer.

(But that wasn’t all.)

Maybe Will and a widower I know could wind up traveling to the Met performances together. The one’s already remarked how difficult it is, down and back in a single day. After all, each way takes longer than the opera performance itself. Even when it’s Wagner.

From what I’ve seen, they’d both have a lot to talk about during the long drive. If only there were an easy introduction.

YOU CAN’T LOSE IF YOU DON’T PLAY

One of the ways Quakers have stood apart from the larger society is in our opposition to gambling. Across America, though, the tension has grown in recent years, as governments (led by New Hampshire’s example) and Native American tribes have engaged in lotteries and casinos. Even causes we support commonly turn to raffles as fundraisers.

Still, we can witness to the fact that a lottery is an inefficient way to raise money for education or other socially valued causes. If you want something, you should be willing to pay for it directly, rather than expect someone else to foot the bill. As for gaming, the odds are vastly against winning, and I long found myself working far too hard to enjoy throwing hundreds of dollars down the drain. Even a weekly Megabucks ticket adds up. As one of my coworkers insisted, “Lotteries are a tax on stupidity.” He might have added, “a tax on despair,” as well, especially for lower- and middle-class families whose purchasing power keeps shrinking in the current economic climate. If anything, the glamour of gaming masks this reality. Maybe, just maybe, the hope goes, I’ll escape my condition. Friends have warned against the inclination to expect something for nothing or at someone else’s expense. I’m just as concerned about the quest for “fun” replacing a work ethic, or the way the entertainment media are shaping the everyday theology of the masses. Look closer, then, at the Foxwoods or Tri-State Lottery Commission commercials. Fantasy and reality diverge sharply.

Yes, it’s tempting. As in “temptation.” Even so, we believe in speaking Truth to Power. Need I say more?

A CONSERVATIVES’ PARADOX

Let me admit to being perplexed by those deep-pocket conservatives who bankroll candidates who squeeze public services in communities throughout the state but, for themselves, choose to live in the most liberal districts – the ones with the highest taxes and top-flight public services. The ones with effete artsy prominence. All the stuff their lackeys publicly deride.

I wish they’d instead practice what they preach. Enjoy the misery they engender or deem fitting for the common folk – beginning with schools, libraries, parks, and health services. The things that make a place civilized and pleasant for all.

Yes, let them practice what they preach. Stay in the stingiest, most self-centered enclaves. Or be exposed and shamed for their duplicity.