The next volume has some overlap. Be it what it may.
Radha phoned, jubilant as usual, to congratulate and share.
“You’ve been to bed together, haven’t you!”
Smiling on the other end.
~*~
My one prayer in accepting a church wedding was for a self-realized priest.
A new father came to town.
Priests were unnecessary in weddings prior to the Council of Trent, 1560. That is, after the Protestant Reformation.
Marriage is an initiation.
“Before, we were only playing.”
Whether it goes by plan or accident, it goes right.
An organist who cannot play Bach, will trip on Mozart. As ours did.
Who are these brown eyes searching my face?
This makeup for the first time.
Hinayana
“small vessel”
you and me
plus all the others
“You’re too good for me,” repeated.
I really needed to get down and dirty, for the hell of it.
Haven’t played violin much since we married.
~*~
~*~
8 Aug, Nixon out, for the sake of the country, it’s such a shame” but also euphoric to see “that bastard get it.”
“What are we going to do for news now?”
~*~
When you’re relaxed, it’s easier to have faith.
Without inner tension, we’re more inclined to submit to Divine Will.
Many of our obstacles are of our own making.
Use one part of your mind to overcome another part.
That steamer trunk hasn’t been used in so long it must be filled with bugs and snakes.
Down so far “I want to die.”
Next day, so alive.
“I can’t believe it’s only morning.”
Fostoria, this junkyard on the prairie [unlike the land around me these days, where forest covers up so much and water most of the rest].
In a dream, I feasted at the ashram in a circle of smiles.
I woke full of joy.
Swami, reading our charts:
Don’t change jobs this year! Wait till June ’75. In June/July ’76, I’ll have my final cleaning out. Very rough, must now learn to live with Saturn. [Note the big move to Yakima ahead]
Kat must grow up. I can’t do that for her.
By not getting upset, I’m not being very honest and she knows it.
Barn: a three-rod job, considering lightning
Already she was speaking of divorce.
She admitted she was jealous of me, my resolve or strength.
In the night, I asserted myself upon her
And because seeing me strong,
she was excited to be a woman.
Remember when Cedar said, “When you open up, it will be fantastic.”
Well, looking back, those times of opening up are rare.
In pictures of Kat, one thing stands out from childhood on: the intensity of her eyes, usually looking straight at the camera with an unquenchable hunger, the eyes of madmen or spiritual masters, the thirst for that alone which quenches, that special security, deepest of drives: this is my woman, may I help her find that peace.
Blew my cool today, fricking proofreaders who don’t catch copy as marked. Bessie reads my stories, “Oh, my!” rather than typos. Don defending her, “For every 12 errors you make, we make one.” There’s no excuse for changing an obituary, though.
Moon’s chart: I still don’t see him as a double Leo … his love life fell in Gemini.
As a swami, “You’re just a friend, not a lover” when it comes to feeling the love in the ashram …
I can’t say I wasn’t warned.
~*~
From Spiralbound Flatland, with commentary from now.
Jnana's Red Barn 