stack neatly three cords of stove wood
for kitchen heating (ache, diddly ache)
with no idea how much they’ll need for winter

learn to use a variable-speed screwdriver,
far from expertly, while hanging drywall and doors
(ache, diddly ache)

the plumbers finally show for a day
installing a new boiler just before
the season’s first hard cold snap
and now, having switched, the price
of natural gas price shoots up

still, his Lady of Yard Sale Bargains cites
environmental advantages before
terrifying Halloween trick-or-treaters

and Big Brush Fire No. 2 reduces
three more huge piles to ash and
His Lady of Princess Pink costumes herself as a hippie
to his glowing relief, after the Britney Spears
she’d been threatening

but first, there’s the push to paint the new rooms
in the barn and then lay vinyl in its bathroom
(ache, diddly ache)

Poem copyright 2016 by Jnana Hodson
To see the full set of Home Maintenance poems,
click here.

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