FRIENDLY WEEDS

“They’re weeds,” my wife says. In this case, adding, “We’ll let them fight it out.”

The idea of giving permission to certain uninvited plants to push out others no longer baffles me. Yes, I still retain the definition of a weed as being “nothing more than a flower out of place,” a concept first encountered back in my Boy Scout days; experience, however, has taught that not all weeds were created equal. Feisty agression and stamina, of course, are qualities separating a weed from domestic plants we’re actually attempting to nurture.

in reality, though, some weeds are easily seen as evil – poison ivy, for instance, or bindweed or the ground ivy that would easily overrun everything else we’re trying to raise. The gout weed invading from the neighbors’ side of the fence, despite its lovely flowers, is another. Add to that the thousands of maple sprouts we uproot each spring — they’re rather victims of landing in an area we’d rather not have return to forest quite yet.

My wife and I have had more than a few disagreements over what she considers weeds and what I happen to appreciate. Mint, for instance, with associations I have with hiking in the bluegrass region of Kentucky and pausing to drink cool spring water – although I’ve now come around to understand its ability to take over a bed if left unchecked. Wild strawberries, for another. In either instance, these are things one can eat. In other examples, we’ve actually transplanted some commonly defined weeds, such as Queen Anne’s lace, to corners of the yard that could use some blooming help. Others, such as the flowering forget-me-not and dame’s rocket, are largely encouraged to spread as they will, along with any number of self-seeding plants that technically are domestic but have in their own way run wild – sunflowers and calendula, especially.

These are lessons in discernment, tolerance, and discipline. Working a piece of ground for more than a few years gives exposure to plants one begins to recognize and automatically uproot while strolling through a patch, perhaps with an intention of eventually learning its name. Somewhere in my files is a Boston Globe page of common New England invasive plants – what I remember is that we have nearly all. What I didn’t expect when we moved to this plot was that I’d perceive a hierarchy of weeds. That is, ones I’ll tolerate one year, while focusing on more troublesome species. This year, for instance, I’ve been uprooting Virginia creeper as the marsh marigold flourishes. Last year, wild roses joined the list. Our wild asters, meanwhile, go largely unchecked.

One other consideration arises in the fact that we have pet rabbits. As a consequence, we see dandelion greens no longer as weeds but rather as a voraciously favored part of their cuisine, in season. (More recently, the greens have become part of our spring diet as well.) Tall grasses gone to seed at the edge of the yard likewise fit into their salad.

Fighting it out isn’t reserved solely for our friendly weeds. There are corners of our yard where a number of species are proliferating, leaving us uncertain which ones will predominate over time. Joe Pye weed in a Jerusalem artichoke patch, for instance. At the moment, I’m anticipating their succession of blossoms, a definite improvement over what was there when we moved in. It’s not the orderly beds I once envisioned, nor the Japanese gardens I’ve long admired, but it is a style I’ve come to appreciate and even encourage, in my own small way. It’s not quite survival of the fittest, except for “fittest at the table,” as food or as a floral cutting. Fight it out, then, with a referee.

LILACS

So when did this appreciation begin? When I lived in the orchard house, we had a big lilac bush at the corner of the yard – the one where the bees swarmed from the hive that one day.

But I think the real change happened that spring after my first marriage collapsed and I was finally in love again. I crowded the house with those cut blossoms and their fragrance. It’s enough to make me picture a blue silk kimono.

That was years ago, and many miles. Yet the lilacs are more precious than ever.

As I said at the time, when I lived in that last apartment, I vowed if I ever bought my own place, I’d get cuttings from a friend whose lilacs likely descended from the first ones brought to North America. Of course, I didn’t, and the owner has since moved into a retirement center.

Even so, these days, we have our own, screening the Smoking Garden from the street. One lilac had, in fact, grown as tall as the house – but hollow. It’s been work, restoring them to flowering condition.

Still, there’s nothing more luxurious than lilac cuttings arrayed in the bedroom, with their heavenly aroma.

So quickly, they pass.

BAD BOYS, GOOD GIRLS

As I said at the time …

Came across a fascinating insight a while back, something that might continue our “bad boys/good girls” dialogue. The writer, a mother, was observing that even in second grade, teachers automatically divided the class into bad boys and, you guessed it, good girls. By extension, then, coming as this does around the time that most boys are undergoing their sexual and emotional separation and twisting away from Mother, a different path from the girls’ formation, the very model of boyhood becomes, by definition, to be bad! To be a “good boy” is in effect to be a sissy, a girl. To be bad is to push the limits, be independent, be a leader, take action, grow up fast.

Perhaps this is when the boy really needs the mentor figure Robert Bly envisions, to take the boy into wilderness beyond the camp. Maybe it was the same writer (newsroom means little time to read closely, and often not to make a printout either) who was warning that American society has a real time bomb in the making as boys are being subjected to some very confused expectations and accusations. To be virile is taken to translate as promiscuous; strong, as violent; and so on.

Incidentally, David Hernandez’s “Bruises” demonstrates one side of this boy/girl outlook marvelously: when you were a child, did girls ever compare their signs of toughness like this? (So who are the “bad girls”? Tomboys? Or loners at the edge, exploring their own imaginations? Diane Wakoski has pursued this as well as anyone I can think of, but the field still seems wide open!)

Oh, well, I can only open these issues in a poem; resolution comes somewhere else!

~*~

Blue Rock

My collected poems are available in Blue Rock. The ebook’s free in the platform of your choice.

 

 

 

BALDING IN THE BACKGROUND

As I said at the time …

And you think I’ve raised a lot of questions already? Just wait till I begin pondering my wife! I’d start there, if I thought I could make any sense of it without all of the previous history and experiences, good and not so good. Yes, she and I both believe it would have been much better if we’d met, say, 12 years earlier … We would have been younger and more flexible, in many ways, than we were when our lives enmeshed. Or did I mention there are many parts of this getting older I just don’t like, all in addition to balding? She’s a most remarkable woman, incredibly talented and frustrating, highly opinionated and conflicted, too. We’ll just have to see where this all goes, especially in the transitions we see coming ahead.

Enough! What I am simply trying to do here is look under or around the all-too-often light give-and-take you and I have enjoyed and known, this time to more clearly see and identify the “differences” you so early noted while I so blithely remained ignorant or in denial. Through everything, though, you remain very special, mysterious, and yes, magical, in my life.

After all of this, for the record, it’s not snowing here – yet. And I’m off to the office, again.

As one funeral director ended our call on a night when I was the obituary editor a few months ago, “Stay well” – or better yet, as I’d add, “Stay faithful to all you are and believe.”

Fondly and ever gratefully yours.

REGARDING THE THREE-FINGERED MOUSE

I’m inclined to agree with Bukowski in blaming Disney (with all that “happy, happy, happy”) for America’s problems. Or even the world’s. Not that I’d agree with his solution for escaping them, meaning cigarettes and the bottle or a barroom brawl and violent sex.

You see, I’m uneasy when it comes to “happiness” as a goal or a life’s purpose. There’s too much suffering and oppression around us, after all, and no spiritual unity with the universe can exist by denying that. Still, that’s not to argue we need to be pulled under with its negative impact.

As for “fun”? I see that as a self-defeating destination. Its flipside, we should note, is boredom.

Joy, however, is another matter. It’s central to the message of Jesus, as the 16th chapter of John makes clear.

To that we could add bliss or contentment, not in the sense of denying the upheavals and evil of the world but rather in the dimension of accepting a personal inner peace that allows one to labor in furthering the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

For me, this means learning to be more loving, and that’s a never ending challenge. It’s quite different from being giddy or depressed or self-centered or even blaming, gee, I was at the beginning of this post.

Oops! Back to Square One, once again.

TALKING TO MYSELF IN THE MIRROR OF BLOGGING

Me, topical, timely?

Or just lost in another time warp?

~*~

Put another way, you’ve probably noticed the Red Barn rarely comments on current events. We prefer to take a larger perspective. As for all of the posts on gardening, there’s never an actual recipe. Which reminds me about the remaining kale and Brussels sprouts, being sweetened by the frost. There’s always more to do, isn’t there? Now, where was I?

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE

Whenever I come across a blog that begins as an apology for not posting lately or even being on hiatus for a few months, several thoughts spring to mind.

The first is simply that there’s no need to apologize. We’re not short of reading material here in the WordPress network, for sure. Nobody’s holding you to those deadlines, and we’d certainly rather have you back with something good to report than to have you mindlessly keyboarding.

The second thought, though, has me reflecting on my own approach to blogging. Rather than constantly being fed by current activity, the Red Barn and its sisters draw on my deep files of writing and, more recently, photography. That’s allowed me to plan ahead and schedule their release in a timely manner, sometimes even spiraling pieces from decades ago and now.

But now that has me wondering. Is that cheating?

Or is it just another example of the maxim, “Age and cunning will beat youth and ability every time”?

ALONG THE MISSISSIPPI

On my Monday free of the office, I drove up the palisades to nose around a picturesque river city in dull, mid-October weather. Looked at the signs. City Fish Market – Fresh or Smoked, down along the water. “Bill’s,” one door said; the other was “Private.” Down the main street from Doug’s Steak House, which was supposed to be THE place for Mississippi catfish, the town school stood in front of Lock and Dam No. 10.

I pulled into the Corps of Engineers parking lot as the Jack Wofford pushed its barges into the lock, noticed an observation tower, and climbed up to a deck  occupied by mostly married retirees. But in the corner, more my age, was a woman in a London Fog trench coat and big boots, her long, black hair blowing in the cold wind. For a while I wondered if she was part of the pairs and quartets of older folks with their cameras who had come to view the autumn foliage and poke around the gift shops and galleries. She turned her head, noticed me briefly, turned back several times. Between twenty-five and thirty-two, I guessed. Proper makeup, classy.

Then, on the riverboat, a cook appeared at a door and fired back with his camera.  She laughed.

Once the retirees beside her left, I asked her how the crews got their three lengths of barges – 3×3, for nine in all – out of  the locks. “I don’t know,” almost a question. “I’ve never been here before.”

This time I noticed her crooked teeth. Began to wonder about games.

The cook emerged again, this time from the pilot house, and threw something, calculating for the wind. The object curved sharply at the last moment, into her fine catch. She unwrapped it a bit, saw it was a brownie with a phone number and address inside. She giggled to another old couple: “I think he’s had a lot of experience.”

Once the riverboat churned out of the lock, she descended to a powder blue Ford Torino, donned kid gloves with little holes for driving, and drove off.

The wrapper around her plates left me wondering if she was from the Henry County in Iowa or the one up in Minnesota.

I was left wondering, of course. Why so dressed up? And free on a Monday? That wasn’t a typical single person’s car. A professional, between stops? An art major, who gave it up for money? A government worker, with Columbus Day free? Off to a sweet rendezvous? Delightful divorced? Bored, with kids?

Me, at the time, with my own wife a thousand miles to the west, presumably finishing college.

A LITERARY CREDO

I read – and write – not to escape the world but rather to more fully engage it. So literature for me hardly falls into the Entertainment category, even when it’s entertaining.

Likewise, my goal in the written word is to perceive some basic or essential connection with new clarity, understanding, and compassion.

This makes a world of difference, page by page. Maybe I’m just looking for holy scripture, even of a secular sort. Or at least the Holy One along with the mundane.

Often, my approach to writing and other fine arts resembles the essence of a dream – one foot in the present, the other in the past. Or, in another way, one foot in concrete reality, the other in fantasy of some sort, such as surrealism, as a way to engage more than I’d otherwise apprehend.