Tag: Humor

OH, THE SONG OF THE WEARY

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

At our yearly meeting sessions each summer, one night features an all-ages coffee house organized by the teens. It’s a great release for the adults, who have been hunkered down in joint business agendas that often run three hours at a shot. Still, in a week filled with those plus organized discussions and workshops, committee reports and tables, social issues documentaries, casual conversations, and much more, the live amateur entertainment can be a bit much, no matter how excellent many of the acts are.

So it was for me one year when I decided to skip the event – perhaps even go to bed early for a switch.

As I wandered down a hallway, I came across a half-dozen or so Friends gathered around an upright piano and singing four-part music. Great! I jumped right in and was delighted when we turned to a Stephen Foster piece that’s also in the repertoire of my choir. We were just getting it down for ourselves when the announcement came: “You’re on in five!”

What?

My plans had just changed.

So there we were, all adults, lining up for the stage, marching up, finding our places in a semi-circle facing the audience, and being introduced by an enthusiastic high school senior. What was supposed to be “the Hard-Timers,” after the piece we were to sing, came out of her mouth as “the Old-Timers.” Instead of being offended, though, I was grateful it hadn’t come out “the Alzheimers.” Ahem.

If you’re not yet there, be warned: This getting older does have a lot of unanticipated turns. Don’t you forget it. And don’t forget to smile.

WATCH THOSE DRINKS

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 6 Comments

A soft drink of local note – or notoriety, depending – is thick, dark, bitter Moxie. Think molasses. Or patent medicine, as it originated.

The soda has a cult following, something that mystifies many of us. Well, in our part of New England it’s something like Dr. Pepper is elsewhere. Hardly a universal taste. Either you get it or you don’t.

Well, there’s also Red Bull, which commonly gets teamed up with Jagermeister – as the Jagerbomb. The rumor is it’s so popular with underage drinkers that anyone buying Jagermeister at the State Liquor Store will get carded, regardless of age.

So the other day I noticed one of our neighbors sitting out in the sun and sipping … Moxie.

What, no Jagermeister with it?

No, he said smoothly. Moxie goes with Captain Morgan.

GARDEN BED

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 1 Comment

100_8850The bed stand, salvaged from a roadside, holds forsythia back so the blueberry bushes may thrive. The netting in the foreground is actually on the blueberry bushes, to keep birds and squirrels from picking all the berries, rather than on the ground, where the bricks anchor the netting.

 

ANSWERING THE CALL OF DEMOCRACY

~ Jnana Hodson ~ Leave a comment

It’s started. It’s definitely started. The 2016 presidential race.

Those living in New Hampshire can assure you by one indicator, the sudden rise in home phone calls. If you’re registered to one political party or the other and have a number listed somewhere, you’re getting invitations to meet its hopefuls — even the ones who haven’t yet filed. And if you’re registered as an independent, you get them all. And everyone’s asked to express opinions, though not all of the surveys are scientifically neutral. Did I mention the pleas for donations?

We view it as our quadrennial state sport – as well as an obligation to serve as guinea pigs for the rest of the nation. We’re not as rural as many think — much of the state’s really an outer suburb of Boston, so we get our share of big-city problems. And we’re more diverse, as well. We’re small enough to give deserving underdogs an ear – rather than just those who already have the most money. In face-to-face encounters, some of them in neighbors’ living rooms, we work to look through the mass-media image – and often we see somebody quite different than what you’ve assumed. Some highly qualified individuals are warm and witty in intimate settings but stiffen up in front of a big crowd or the television cameras — while some who look great on a tightly scripted screen are truly uncomfortable, even incoherent, in an everyday setting. We’re diligent enough to recognize the congestion of clown cars can be wildly entertaining, so we pay close attention. Besides, we know that just because these hopefuls can pay the registration fee doesn’t mean they can manage anything, but we still hope they enjoy their extended vacation in New England. They do put the rest of the crowd in perspective.

I’ll let folks in Iowa weigh in with their version of this winnowing process, but this is something we in the Granite State take seriously, no matter how eccentric or even lunatic the messenger. It’s a job somebody has to do, and staying informed isn’t always easy. We’ll be ready to kick back when it’s over.

Oh, would you excuse me? The phone’s ringing again. It just might be …

ROUND AND ROUND WE GO

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 4 Comments
Fair warning, especially when there's no backup.
Fair warning, especially when there’s no backup.

Drivers from other parts of the world are often terrified by New England’s use of traffic circles at busy intersections. We’re not the only people to use them – Washington, D.C., has some of the worst – but they do become landmarks. In New Hampshire, for instance, a set of directions might mention the Portsmouth Traffic Circle, or the one at Epsom or Stratham or Alton or Lee, shown here.

It's when you add traffic that things get fun.
It’s when you add traffic that things get fun.

Other terms for the routing around a central island include “rotaries” and “roundabouts.” What Romans call theirs would be unprintable in a family-friendly blog like this.

 

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE?

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 3 Comments

Driving back from the coast along a rather honky-tonk stretch of highway the other night, my headlights flashed across this sign:

INTEGRITY
— —
FOR SALE

At least, that’s what I think it said. The two blanks, I’m finding, may have said Residential Brokerage.

Still, considering our public life today, the message is disturbing.

How do you read it?

FOR THE WIDER GOOD

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 4 Comments

Be wary of folks who seem to believe they’re better than the rest of us. (They’re likely to expect more than their share.)

Yes, respect superior skills and abilities, especially when they’re used for the wider good.

But see through the mask, as well.

(Oh, I hope I’m not wearing mine …)

ALL THE FITNESS THAT FITS

~ Jnana Hodson ~ 3 Comments

Physical fitness has never been high on my list of priorities. Not the ones that actually find action. Yes, there have been stages where hatha yoga was a routine activity. And getting ready for mountain trails could be another.

Right after college, as I mentioned a while back, I did swim indoor laps through one winter – maybe two or three times a week.

So here I am, in retirement, getting back into the swimming – in part a consequence of elder daughter’s Christmas gift of a yearlong pass to the city’s indoor pool, and in part due to the urging of my physician.

It’s interesting watching the stages of adjustment here.

The first month, three laps – a mere three – were my limit of ability. And that was a fight, three times a week. A fight for air. A fight to get to the end of the lane. It was embarrassing.

Slowly, I’ve been edging up to 10 laps a day, five days a week. Sometimes more.

Each length of the pool has its own kind of stroke, a rotation of free-style, back, breast, and each side. It helps keeping count, too.

Since nine laps is a bit more than a quarter-mile, it’s adding up.

With my sinuses and allergies, breathing will always be a problem. At least I’m able to do half of my lengths without the nose clips now. (What a relief!)

One breakthrough came in sensing I was no longer fighting to get from one end to the other but instead engaging the resistance of the water to my advantage. That’s not the same as being at home in the water or even relaxed, but it does change the relationship.

And then there was the recognition of moments of ease – say in the glide pushing off from the end or easing off at the other, or the lift between strokes.

The other afternoon, pausing before returning to my car, I realized I was exhausted, as I always am after the laps. But there was also another sensation. I felt GOOD. As in satisfied.

Allelujah!