The coffin opened too early.
Category: Tendrils
Prime signoffs
Formal letters may be an endangered species, say apart from legal actions, but you may still find a need for a snappy closing line for other written transactions.
Here are a few of note.
- Cheerio, luff, and all that. Alternatively,” Luv ya,” or, “Love & hugs.”
- Cheers or beers.
- Whoops!
- Too’s yours. (Knockoff on “toujours.”)
- Tally-ho. Also, “Tally-ho-ho-hon.”
- Warm fuzzies.
- Taa-taa. Also, “Too-da-loo” or “Tou-da-lahjh.”
- Keep sizzlin’. Or, “Keep smilin’.”
- Hippity-hop.
- Tootles.
“Laters!” got misappropriated.
Forget ‘sincerely’
Letter writing may be a dead art, thanks to email, texting, and online job application forms, among the changing means of communication, but one of the challenges of on-paper correspondence had been in selecting an appropriate closing line, which went right above your signature. (Few youths today, I’m told, actually have signatures. Ahem.)
As one bit of advice noted, “sincerely” is for lawyers, better to be too warm than too distant.
Here are some alternatives, should the occasion arise.
- Thank you for your time. Alternatively, “Thanks for your time” or “Thanks again.”
- Good wishes, always. Or even, “Always,” or, “All the best, always.”
- Toujours.
- Enthusiastically.
- Only the best or betters.
- Stay well.
- Cheers!
- Thanx and g’day.
- Let’s go!
- Onward!
Gee, now I’m wondering about “Truly.” Or even, “Actually.”
Some of this applies to readers, too
More advice and observations from novelists and other writers.
- “You just have to go on when it is worst and most helpless ― there is only one thing to do with a novel and that is go straight on through to the end of the damn thing.” ― Ernest Hemingway
- “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
- “The best advice on writing was given to me by my first editor, Michael Korda, of Simon and Schuster, while writing my first book. ‘Finish your first draft and then we’ll talk,’ he said. It took me a long time to realize how good the advice was. Even if you write it wrong, write and finish your first draft. Only then, when you have a flawed whole, do you know what you have to fix.” ― Dominick Dunne
- “Editing might be a bloody trade, but knives aren’t the exclusive property of butchers. Surgeons use them too.” ― Blake Morrison
- “Half my life is an act of revision.” ― John Irving
- “I’m all for the scissors. I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.” ― Truman Capote
- “It is perfectly okay to write garbage ― as long as you edit brilliantly.” ― C. J. Cherryh
- “I’ve found the best way to revise your own work is to pretend that somebody else wrote it and then to rip the living shit out of it.” ― Don Roff
- “Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we’.” ― Mark Twain
- “So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.” ― Dr. Seuss
Among the wonders of nature
When it comes to flowers, wild or cultivated, just consider …
- “Those who dwell, as scientists or laymen, among the beauties and mysteries of the earth, are never alone or weary of life.” — Rachel Carson
- “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.” — May Sarton
- “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” — Margaret Atwood
- “Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” — Hans Christian Andersen
- “Colors are the smiles of nature.” — Leigh Hunt
- “The earth laughs in flowers.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “The fairest thing in nature, a flower, still has its roots in earth and manure.” — D. H. Lawrence
- “Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.” — Theodore Roethke
- “The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.” — Galileo Galilei
- “Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.” — Henry David Thoreau
Newfoundland is really out there
It’s a remote land of icebergs, northern lights, puffins, and moose, the easternmost part of Canada. Now, for a few details.
- Although the province also includes Labrador, making it larger than California, the usual focus is on the island itself, the world’s 16th largest, ahead of Cuba, Iceland, or Ireland. The island aka “The Rock” sits at the mouth of the St. Lawrence River, creating the world’s largest estuary.
- It has the only verified Viking settlement in North America, around the year 1001, possibly with Leif Erikson. The UNESCO World Heritage Site is on the northern tip of the island and includes restored sod buildings; for a sense of the size of the island, it’s an 11-hour, 20-minute drive from St. John’s. Legend has Irish Monk St. Brendan arriving in the 6th century, and Englishman John Cabot may have landed in 1497. Portuguese fishermen were also prominent explorers.
- Newfoundland was an independent country before joining the Canadian confederation in 1949. It’s one reason it’s not considered a Maritime Province like Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island.
- It has its own time zone, a half-hour ahead of Atlantic, although, strangely, it appears a half-hour later, as in “9 a.m. Atlantic, 9:30 Newfoundland.”
- Getting there can be convoluted. Flying from the U.S., for instance, generally takes nine hours; driving, 36. There are two ferry routes from Nova Scotia – the shorter one runs six- to seven-hours; the longer one, 16 hours.
- Just 12 miles away, off the southwestern coast of Newfoundland, are the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon, technically part of France and a vestige of what was once New France.
- The Newfoundland dog and Newfoundland pony are symbols of the province.
- As for those striking North American puffins, 95 percent of them live in Newfoundland and Labrador, a good reason it’s the official bird of the province.
- Between 400 and 800 icebergs a year typically get as far south as St. John’s. Hamlets further north, such as Twilingate, get even more.
- It’s pronounced NEW-fundlund. Its people, informally, are Newfies – and Canadians second.
While we’re at it, do note that the Rock has some eye-raising town names. Here’s a sampling, without explanation or commentary:
- Dildo.
- Goobies.
- Tickle Cove.
- Blow Me Down.
- Come by Chance.
- Witless Bay.
- Cow Head.
- Gander.
- Placentia.
- Botwood.
St. John’s, the provincial capital and largest city, is not to be confused with St. John, New Brunswick. Both are significant seaports.
Advice from writers for writers goes way beyond the page
Just consider:
- “A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God.” ― Sidney Sheldon
- “One thing that helps is to give myself permission to write badly. I tell myself that I’m going to do my five or 10 pages no matter what, and that I can always tear them up the following morning if I want. I’ll have lost nothing – writing and tearing up five pages would leave me no further behind than if I took the day off.” ― Lawrence Block
- “Be willing to write really badly.” ― Jennifer Egan
- “You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” ― Octavia E. Butler
- “Never use an adverb to modify the verb ‘said.’ … To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange.” ― Elmore Leonard
- “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” ― Ernest Hemingway
- “I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story.” ― Tom Clancy
- “Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.” ― Ray Bradbury
- “Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but most of all, endurance.” ― James Baldwin
- “When your story is ready for a rewrite, cut it to the bone. Get rid of every ounce of excess fat. This is going to hurt; revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.” ― Stephen King
How about another serving of spuds?
This is what happens when I dig up too much for a single Tendrils. To wit:
- “You can’t really be good at cooking unless you can cook a potato.” ― Julia Child
- “Potatoes are the one food that makes everybody happy.” ― Rachael Ray
- “All food starting with p is comfort food: pasta, potato chips, pretzels, peanut butter, pastrami, pizza, pastry.” — Sara Paretsky
- “Potatoes are the ultimate comfort food, especially when they come with gravy.” ― Trisha Yearwood
- “Few people sufficiently appreciate the colossal task of feeding a world of billions of omnivores who demand meat with their potatoes.” — Jonathan Safran Foer
- ”Preparing food is one of life’s great joys, but a lot of times, parents ask their kids if they want to cook with them and then tell them to go peel a bag of potatoes. That’s not cooking — that’s working!” — Guy Fieri
- “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. But if you want to make mashed potatoes, you need just a potato and a little salt.” ― Carl Sagan
- “People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this.” — Fran Lebowitz
- “World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate.” — Geneen Roth
- “Potatoes are proof that God loves us.” ― Benjamin Franklin
How do you like your potatoes?
I was going to delve into ten facts about spuds but wound up with round of tasty quotes instead. Dish up!
- “Unbelievable as it may seem, one-third of all vegetables consumed in the United States come from just three sources: French fries, potato chips, and iceberg lettuce.” ― Marion Nestle
- “I bought a big bag of potatoes and it’s growing eyes like crazy. Other foods rot. Potatoes want to see.” ― Bill Callahan, Letters to Emma Bowlcut
- “Potatoes are to food what sensible shoes are to fashion.” ― Linda Wells
- “A lucky person is someone who plants pebbles and harvests potatoes.” — Greek proverb
- “Potatoes are very interesting folks. I think they must see a lot of what is going on in the earth — they have so many eyes.” — Opal Whiteley
- “Look at that moon. Potato weather for sure.” — Thornton Wilder
- “Every Irishman, the saying goes, has a potato in his head.” — Augustus Hare
- “It is always wise to make too much potato salad. Even if you are cooking for two, make enough for five. Potato salad improves with age — that is, if you are lucky enough to have any left over.” — Laurie Colwin
- “Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.” — Alan Watts
- “Murder is like potato chips: you can’t stop with just one.” — Stephen King
Favorite garden accessories
Remember, I’m not the gardener in this operation. Still, for me?
- Loppers: I use mine both in the garden to trim thick-stemmed plants, and around the yard to trim hedges and small limbs of trees or prune shrubs – sometimes even to cut branches into firewood. It’s probably my most used tool, actually.
- Nippers: Not just to cut small plants but rope, twine, and zip-ties, too. Usually beats scissors.
- Speaking of twine: Jute is a favorite. Whatever you use to tie plants in place or as lines for peas and climbing beans, you’ll rarely find it when you need it.
- Wheelbarrow: Not just for dirt, either. Big bags of compost, mulch, or fertilizer can be a bear to tote without this. Rocks, bricks, stones, as well. Hauling things away from the beds, too, can quickly fill one.
- A good spade: Meaning one with a handle attached so it won’t pull out – it’s essential in planting season, especially if you don’t have a rototiller. It’s also helpful in uprooting plants at the end of the season. We also have a ton of rocks in the yard, and it gets a workout there.
- Trowels: Especially since they’re easily misplaced or lost, if you don’t stick them upright in the ground when you’re done.
- A skinny shovel: The usual broad size can be frustrating more times than you’d suspect.
- Five-gallon buckets: Even if you don’t collect seaweed for fertilizing and mulching, you will find endless ways to fill one: water, fertilizer, compost, garden produce, firewood tinder.
- Bricks: OK, not actually a tool, but they sure come in handy in holding tarps or black plastic weed-cover in place or for propping up plant pots for display. A few concrete blocks are also good to have on hand.
- Band-aids: No matter how careful you are, you will get nicked.
So what about you?
