First Lady Dolley Madison cut quite a character

Dolley Payne (1768-1849) was the widow of prominent Philadelphia lawyer John Todd when she married the future fourth president of the United States, James Madison from Virginia. She was a colorful character, even apart from her extravagant fashion sense (which I see as a rebellion against the Quaker Plain constraints of her youth), a charming hostess who can be viewed as a founder of bipartisanship in American politics thanks to her dinners. Pleasurable food does enhance conversation, no? Dolley’s legendary social gatherings, known as “squeezes,” were attended by influential figures such as politicians, foreign dignitaries, and intellectuals, making her a central figure in American society.

Or, as a North Carolina Quaker minute book wistfully records her, “Formerly of our society,” meaning the Society of Friends. She was also the first president’s wife to be called First Lady.

Today, we have a Double Tendrils. The first set of quotes reflects her time in the White House and her flight during the War of 1812 when she saved the iconic portrait of George Washington in the throes of the attack that burned the new White House, which she had furnished and decorated.

First, things she said as First Lady.

1. Two messengers covered with dust come to bid me fly, but I wait for him. … I am accordingly ready; I have pressed as many Cabinet papers into trunks as to fill one carriage; our private property must be sacrificed, as it is impossible to procure wagons for its transportation. … It is done… the precious portrait placed in the hands of the gentlemen for safe keeping. … And now, dear sister, I must leave this house or the retreating army will make me a prisoner in it by filling up the road I am directed to take.
2. I have always considered my husband my partner and equal, and have valued his opinions and ideas greatly.
3. In times of crisis, it is important to remain calm and focused, and to make decisions based on reason rather than emotion.
4. Leadership is not about wielding power, but about serving others with humility and compassion.
5. You may imagine me the very shadow of my husband.
6. A good leader listens to the voices of those they serve, and seeks to understand and address their needs.
7. History is shaped by the actions of individuals, and we all have the power to make a difference.
8. I believe in the importance of standing up for what is right, even if it means going against popular opinion.
9. I have never been afraid to speak my mind and advocate for causes that I believe in.
10. I believe in the power of collaboration and teamwork, and the strength that comes from working together towards a common goal.

The second set of quotes frame a larger perspective.

1. It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people’s business.
2. I believe in the power of education and the importance of women’s access to knowledge.
3. I believe in the importance of preserving and protecting our natural environment for future generations.
4. True strength lies in the ability to admit mistakes and learn from them. … Honesty and integrity are the foundations of a strong and lasting legacy.
5. A strong woman is one who can support and lift others up, even in the face of adversity. … Women have the capacity to be leaders and agents of change, and should be given equal opportunities in all areas of society.
6. Life is too short to hold grudges or dwell on the past.
7. Excellence should be pursued in all aspects of life, whether it be in relationships, work, or personal growth.
8. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of their background or social status. … The true measure of a person’s character is how they treat others, especially those who are less fortunate.
9. Kindness is not a sign of weakness, but a reflection of strength and compassion. … I believe in the power of forgiveness and the strength that comes from letting go of anger and resentment.
10. I would rather fight with my hands than my tongue.