Oh, my, is it crass-mess?

The pagan origin of many of the winter holiday’s customs is something I’m all too aware of. For starters, Jesus was likely born in the springtime, not the December 25 Roman festival of Saturnalia, honoring Saturn.

I’m not against acknowledging the winter solstice and the wonders of its long nights, but here are some other dark sides to consider. Not that I want to dampen anyone’s spirits.

1. Dump the snow, OK? Even before global warming kicked in, Irving Berlin’s 1942 hit of dreaming of a white Christmas was something of a fantasy, even across much of New England and upstate New York. The unrealistic expectation of snow has led to annual disappointment in our household, for sure. Apart from that, I’m wondering: Did the movie starring Bing Crosby actually lead to a chain of motels called Holiday Inn?
2. Blame Coca-Cola. Santa was generally a spooky figure until Coca-Cola decided to cast him in its holiday magazine ads. Assigned the task in 1931, Michigan-born illustrator Haddon Sundblom used his pal Lou Prentice as the model, and the result was a jolly boffo success. The artist took inspiration from Clement Clarke Moore’s 1822 poem, “A Visit from Saint Nicholas,” better known as “The Night Before Christmas,” for its warm, friendly, pleasantly plump St. Nick, as well as cards from his parents’ native Scandinavia. For the next 33 years his annual assignment advanced the modern image of Santa. So much for the terrors of naughty-or-nice that parents could have used for child control. Sundblom also created Coke’s mascot Sprite Boy in 1942, eventually leading to the rival clear soda 7Up.
3. As for Rudolph? The rose-nosed reindeer first appeared in 1939 as a Christmas story for kids that Montgomery Ward could hand out as a promotion at its department stores. Staff copywriter Robert L. May was assigned the task, and 2.4 million copies were distributed in the first year along. Gene Autry recorded the song version most of us know in 1949, followed by a movie in 1964 that featured an island of misfit toys and Herbie the elf. The story was written in the same meter as “A Visit from Saint Nicholas.”
4. Can you list the reindeer? Rudolph was nearly named Rollo or Reginald, and the other eight also had an array of alternative names, including Flossie, Glossie, Racer, Pacer, Scratcher, Feckless, Ready, Steady, and Fireball. The reindeer names that continued come from Moore’s poem. There’s even a late arrival named Olive. And, since only female reindeer keep their antlers through winter, guess what. Sorry, guys.
5. Now, for Jingle Bells. Boston-born James Lord Pierpont wrote the song “One Horse Open Sleigh” for a Thanksgiving concert in 1857 in the Unitarian church in Savannah, Georgia, where he was organist and his brother was minister. That’s right, Thanksgiving, not Christmas. The song, published in 1857, recalled an event from his time in a boarding school in New Hampshire. The idea of snow must have been a novelty for those Sunday school singers down in Dixie. Released in 1859 under the title and lyrics everybody knows today, it became a hit. That year, the church also closed, a consequence of its minister’s abolitionist views, while the composer soon joined the Confederate army and wrote songs on its behalf. Pierpont was also the uncle of famed banker J.P. Morgan – more properly John Pierpont Morgan. Jingle, jingle, of a different sort also common this time of year.
6. Imitate the royals, right? The popularity of a Yule tree in American homes originates with Prince Albert of Germany, who got a tree for his new wife, Queen Victoria of England. When a drawing of the couple in front of a Christmas tree appeared in the Illustrated London News in 1848, folks started following suit – on both sides of the Atlantic.
7. Call 911. Dried-out Christmas trees spark about 260 fires in the United States each year, causing an average of 12 deaths, 24 injuries and $16.4 million in property damage. Another 150 fires are started by defective lighting, adding another average of eight deaths, 16 injuries and $8.9 million in property damage per year.
8. As for the emergency room. An estimated 14,700 people visit hospital emergency rooms each November and December from holiday-related decorating accidents, about 240 injuries per day. Falling, lacerations, and back strains are the most common ailments.
9. Watch the budget, too. Consumers spend an average of $967.13 on the holidays. I’m assuming this means adults.
10. Mistletoe? The Germanic word for the plant translates as “dung on a tree.” Birds eat the berries, seed and all, and then help the plant germinate with their droppings. So pucker up, if you insist.

Thanks to Good Housekeeping