For many folks – especially of the male gender – nothing adds more stress to the approaching holidays than the matter of gift-giving. Matter? Should I instead say requirement or obligation or necessity or, uh, finals examination? That’s even before we get to any consideration of price tags or value.
We (ah, the crucial confession!) just don’t get it. And when we think we do, it’s usually with some very useful item they’ll see as totally lacking sentimental value. A garbage disposal, for instance? (OK, I avoided that one.)
Being married to a woman who has a sixth sense in this realm, moreover, has not only been illuminating but heightens my apprehension. She’s not one for flowers or jewelry or chocolate, for starters, at least on the receiving end. No, it’s her sense of empathy in finding some surprise she knows the receiver will appreciate. Often it’s humorous – and often it’s useful without being, shall we say, utilitarian. It’s downright psychic.
I can point to the binoculars or the little recorder that captures our choir rehearsals or the turtlenecks I seem to live in these days. Sometimes they’re even baffling, those things I didn’t know I wanted or needed until, well, time proves otherwise.
There’s no way, either, to top the panini press she presented a dear friend. It makes him think gratefully of her almost daily. It’s also proof that she listens carefully for clues no one else seems to notice.
Locating appropriate gifts – and it’s really something other than shopping – is an enterprise she tries to have largely wrapped up (sorry for the pun – the wrapping comes later) by Halloween. Well, that relieves some of the pressure – many of her finds actually come at yard sales as early as May, and there are other bargains to be found through the summer and fall, if you’re alert.
She’s the one, by the way, who can’t comprehend how a mother could have no clue to what her kids like or want. Just know that it’s fuel for a rant.
But I rather treasure it for the way it gets us guys off the hook just a tad. That mother, that is.
Now, from my end, I’m further along than I would have been before I met her. But I’m still distinctly playing second fiddle. Or even viola.
Jnana's Red Barn 
I’m useless at present guessing and often end up having to ask for a clue 🙂
That was a huge lesson for me. Sometimes there are others you can ask, by the way — co-conspirators, as it were. And sometimes it helps to take notes through the year. I just came across one from three or four years ago, and it’s still good. My plan is to venture off this afternoon to see if I can locate desired object in a specialty shop down the highway. Wish me well!
yes, co-conspiracy is also good 🙂